So I have a bit of a unique situation that I’ve looked for answers for elsewhere and haven’t found anything that quite fits my situation. So to start to explain this, you should know some things about me. I am still in High School and I had never dated anyone before, mainly because I am a very picky person and I really didn’t like any one before I became close to this girl. I have known this girl since sixth grade, and have had on and off crushes on her but I had never shown that. She on the other hand is very beautiful, while I’m probaby more average. She has had lots of boyfriends since middle school, but most of the relationships never lasted more than a few weeks. We ended up becoming friends because we both had very similar personalities, interests, and ideas. However when we got to high school I ended up barely talking to her for two years, and she had one boyfriend for a good portion of that time, but I had gotten over it and was already moved on. But this is where my situation starts.
It was my junior year and I happened to have two classes with her, and we ended up sitting next to each other. Throughout the year we gradually reconnected and became very close, texting and talking to each other multiple times everyday even when she had a boyfriend. Sometime half through the year she broke up with her boyfriend, and we became even closer. About two months after they broke up she admitted that she liked me and was scared that I didnt like her back, but of course I admitted I liked her too. But since I had never been in a relationship I had no idea what came next. Especially since neither of us had a lot of freetime, we decided to take it slow, and I was basically following her lead, plus for some reason we decided to not tell anyone that we were together. We never even kissed(Much less anything else) but I have a feeling that if it had lasted a little longer we would have, but despite that it was one of the happiest times of my life. Then she cheated on me…
Before I get into that, I should explain something else. This whole year she had a guy friend who would hang around her every waking moment, during school after school, before it, and I had always hated him. She assured me multiple times that she didn’t like him and would never date him, and she also told him a few times she wasn’t interested but despite that he kept going after her. I didnt want to be the person who told her who should could be friends with, or get mad at her for having other guy friends, so I made it clear that I didnt like the guy but I trustd her and wouldnt interfere at all. Well about a month after getting together(near the end of the school year) she and her sister and few other friends including this guy decide to go on a short weekend trip together, I forgot if I was invited(I feel like I wasnt for some reason but Idk) and she ends up making out with this guy multiple times too. Now he didnt know we were together(but that doesnt mean im not holdng it against him), so after the trip he kept trying to get farther and farther into a relationship with her. At that point I still had no idea what had happened, and I wouldn’t find out about it for about 3 weeks after it happened. She changed after that, she became more distant, sadder, and looking back she tried to admit to me what happened several times, but right before she would tell me she’d chicken out and make some excuse. And because she couldnt tell me, there was nothing to restrain her relationship with him, and it gradually went farther and farther.
3 weeks after she cheated on me was about her birthday, and school had ended. When I went onto Instagram I saw the photo of them making out dated from 3 weeks earlier, with him calling her his girlfriend. I had talked to her literally 2 hours before, and I frantically called her and texted but she wouldnt answer. I was absolutely crushed and depressed. Then to make matters worse I couldnt see her because I was hundreds of miles away at a summer camp, and the day after her birthday she left the country with her sister to go to a foreign country, where they were staying at this guys summer cabin with him there. To explain that, I have to go back a little but, basically her parents said that they could go on a sneior trip wherever they like and this guy had a cabin and offeed them housin and a guide for the country(himself). Now I had alaways felt extremely weird and worried about her spending 3 weeks in this guys house in a foreign country, but at the time I trusted her. But of course the news hit me that she had cheated on me with this guy the day before she left for the trip, and I ended up not hearing from her for 3 weeks.
When she got back she texted me saying we needed to meet, I agreed and she told me everything. I found out that they were now in a relationship and she had told him everything about us, and she felt like a horrible person. She also said that all they had done was makeout and hadnt gone past that. What was odd was she absolutely refused to say how it is she ended up making out with him no matter how much I pressed(Neither of us do drugs or alcohol and she said she wasnt intoxicated), and I still dont know what to this day caused it. After she told me they were together I was filled once again with depression and anger, but I sent her a lengthy text saying to choose between me or him, if she chose him I would be gone for good and if she chose me she could remain friends with him but I wouldnt trust her(I also added dont choose me out of guilt). After about 4 days she said she choose neither, and would break up with him because it was to shitty to choose. I was okay with this solution, but after two weeks she barely reponded to any texts and wouldnt tell me if she had broken up with him or not. AT that point I decided that if this was it was going to be like then I didnt want that, I had to assume she didnt break up with him and I cut off all contact.
It is now the beginning of a new school year and I’m definitely struggling, I am pretty sure they are still together but I’m not 100% sure. I have to see them together every single day, and whenever we pass by each other we just ignore each other. Even though I’m still insanely angry, and hurt, I can tell that I am jealous and I want her back despite everything. I cant think of another person(because of my picky nature) Id want to be with. This last week has been so hard seeing them together I have been looking online for answers on how to get her back, and apparently cutting off contact(Its been a little over a month) was a good idea. Although I’m scared that no contact isnt going to work with her considering she has a boyfriend to(I think) comfort her. My question is what do you think I should do to get her back? I think she either feels guilty or misses me, or possibly both, but theres no way of knowing. Also the person shes with I dont see what she like in him(and I understand “Love is mysterious” and all that), but more because her and I her are intellectuals who absolutely refuse to do drugs, and hes a skater who fails his classes and drinks and does drugs a lot. He also keeps staring at me whenever he sees me, so I was thinking of sending her a text telling her to ask him to stop staring at me(I dont have his number or any of that) to start a conversation possibly, would that be worth breaking the No contact rule? If by some miracle we do get back together I want her to break off all contact with him because I read that was a good idea, and plus I dont trust her rn, especially not with him, so woud that be a good idea? Also do you think I can ever trust her fully with other guys again? Thank you so much for reading this and trying to help me, right now Im just trying to live day by day, and not stop my life over this.