- This topic has 8 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 7 months ago by Beth Gallagher.
October 13, 2014 at 5:07 pm #66250
My adopted daughter (now 12) has developed anorexia. She is very athletic and quite a perfectionist. I am having a very difficult time emotionally with how to help her and not completely lose myself in a swirling vortex of terror at possibly losing my daughter. Anyone have any experience with this and be willing to impart their wisdom? I sure could use a lifeline!!!October 14, 2014 at 8:11 am #66262AnonymousInactive
Hi Beth. I’m not a parent or psychiatrist, but if I were in your shoes, I’d try these websites. I hope that helps. http://www.something-fishy.org/other/hotlines.php
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/find-help-supportOctober 14, 2014 at 12:14 pm #66274GracieParticipant
I would really recommend getting her into some counseling, even family counseling if possible.
My older sister battled anorexia for many years and eventually got to the point where she could have really lost her life if she didn’t make some changes.
She overcame it and she is now of healthy weight, a mother and almost 30 years old.
She went to counseling and we even went to family counseling with her and this helped her get help with some of the issues she was having inside.October 14, 2014 at 12:22 pm #66275
I want to be sure you know that I have my daughter in counseling and she is being treated for a food phobia and anorexia. I was hoping that another parent or parents could sort of mentor me through. I am, however, very thankful for your replies! I’m so glad to hear that your sister has overcome her disease and is happy. It is encouraging to hear success stories!!!October 14, 2014 at 2:49 pm #66290AlejandraParticipant
Hi … when I was younger, in my 20’s I was suffering of anorexia and bulimia, I passed a lot of years sad , depressed and hating my life. My life began changing after therapy and now I’m a happy person because I understood why I did that to me. I can assure you that is treatable and your daughter can go about it successfully if she has support from her family. The most important thing in such situations is to not let the person feel alone and above all, away from her mother. I can attest that with hard work and a lot of therapy and hard times, she will find the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m sending my best wishes for the situation with your daughter. I don’t know you or your daughter, but I congrats you because I think you are a responsible mother and I know your are doing the things right. Regards.
October 14, 2014 at 6:43 pm #66294
- This reply was modified 8 years, 7 months ago by Alejandra.
Thank you so much for sharing this with me, Alejandra. Congratulations on coming through that dark period, and I wish you nothing but health and happiness always. Also, thank you for your kind words about my mothering. I hope that I am not the cause of her illness, and will help and support her through her dark time too. Any words of encouragement or advice are GREATLY appreciated, especially from someone like you who has come through it. Thank you!October 15, 2014 at 8:30 am #66307AlejandraParticipant
Thank you!October 15, 2014 at 1:36 pm #66318MattParticipant
In addition to the other great words and resources given, also consider expressing, heartfelt and often, how you love the whole of her. When “imperfections” drive a need to control, sometimes its the push to avoid losing love. “If I am perfect, I’ll be loved”. Let her know its unneeded, your arms open to success and mistake alike, and perhaps her pressure to be perfect will diminish some. Perhaps be really tender with any “achievement” encouragement, and focus more on the exploration, growth and fun. “You looked like you had fun, and ran your heart out!” rather than “You won!” Or “You need 1800 calories!” vs “seeing you eat that warms my heart”.
Also, consider trusting your hugs more. 🙂 Your heart has the strength to pour gentle light, like a feeling of home, in more than just your words, actions, etc. Sometimes, words just get in the way, some feelings are expressed best silently. Also, a hug is a good sense of what you can do with the worry, let it rest in hope of miracles and grace, of a mother’s love conquering all, of her and her sunshine. It’ll help make sure your warmth is there when the time comes to give a hug proper. 🙂
MattOctober 15, 2014 at 6:26 pm #66326
Thank you, Matt, for your advice!!! This parenting gig is sure a hard one, but I feel like I’m a better parent now because of all of this. It’s so very hard to stay in the present and not worry myself into a seizure, so your comments and encouragement are more treasured than you can even imagine. Thank you for your post! I wish all of you that have offered me advice endless happiness and peace and thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kindness.