Four months ago I met a man (M43) on Bumble. We hit it off immediately and started spending a lot of time together. About a month after our first date we decided to become exclusive.  Things were going great- we had so much fun together, talking, texting, going out on dates, weekends together. I met his circle of friends and they all told him what a great person I was and how glad they were for him, etc.

Fast forward to a month after becoming exclusive, he confides in me that he’s not sure if he’s ready for a full-blown relationship since his divorce was just finalized before we met and he wasn’t sure if his head was in the right place yet. He felt horrible telling me this and asked if we could please remain friends since he enjoyed my company so much. I agreed and told him I understood that the timing might be off, but I also really liked and cared for him and would definitely like to remain friends.

I was sure this meant we’d be seeing less of each other, but the exact opposite happened. He started texting/calling me even more than he had before and to be honest, I was happy! We started having long, deep talks about his divorce, his feelings about his ex, his family, etc. It was really nice! This went on for about a month. Things were going even better than before. At this point I was definitely starting to “catch feelings” and knew that I wanted to be his friend, but what I really wanted was to be his girlfriend again. I didn’t want to just be a “FWB”, which is basically what I felt like, despite our emotional connection.

Saturday night I made the decision to tell him that I couldn’t just be his friend any more. I wanted more out of the relationship and it wasn’t fair to either of us to hold each other back this way. He became very emotional and upset and was apologizing and saying how much he hated his situation and how confused he was about life, etc. He said I was amazing, he really cared for me, etc. Of course this made me feel awful, like I was breaking his heart.

We haven’t spoken since that night. I don’t know what to do and I could really use some advice. I care deeply for this man and the thought of him hurting is killing me. I don’t want him completely out of my life, but at the same time, I need boundaries so I don’t get hurt if he decides he can’t have a romantic relationship with me.

What should I do? Should I wait a few days and then reach out? Should I wait for him to reach out? I’m so confused and sad right now 🙁