Hello everybody,

It’s my first post here ,sorry for my english but it’s not my main language, i will try to type the right combination of words that explain it exactly as the same as my eyes sees It.
In this days i’m starting to see that the classic ruminating anxiety,which for most people ruins their life, for me started by panic attack 3 years ago is actually the best spiritual teacher that could have never had. Initialy i was really afraid of myself because my cycle of anxiety seemed without escape. Since the first anxiety episode months later i started to read tons of books about the real root of anxiety and after mostly spiritual teachings, Eckard Tolle at the top of the list, but none of these could actually heal me. Despite i was all the time trying to control my fellings and reaction made by it, my studyies performance appear more than good. I saw two theraphyst , that helped me to decrease the emotional reaction, after three months session they told me that what i really need is to be less focused on self perfection.
A realization came up days ago: i finally realized that the 90-95% of my day was thinking and self criticism. So i really say that without all of It i neved had the opportunity to change my mindset for the best if at the surface the strugling to control my feelings is no longer a problem?

Because now i’m trained for the worst ,since for me already happened so i no longer completly identified of which suddenly appear and i can say: it is just a wrong development of a thought