Hey blondilocks,

This seems very similar to my recent situation that I wrote about under “confusion” just a couple of days ago. My advice – take the leap…if it doesn’t work out, it will be extremely hard, you will be heartbroken and feel like you have lost everything. But…if you never take that chance and never find out, you will regret it for the rest of your life. In the end, as with my situation, I don’t actually think there is a decision to make at all. There is only one choice you can make…be brave, be excited and good luck!

– Brickflipper

I feel like I’m on the other side of that “leap” at the moment in my own relationship. After 3 years, we’re having some struggles, and I’m unsure how to talk to him about some of the things that are bothering me.

You’re right, you have two choices. Just remember that there are two sides to every coin.
Now on one hand, you could take the leap and get everything you’ve ever dreamed of, maybe more. Or the “honeymoon-phase” will end/dwindle and you’ll either have to pick up the pieces or hope what you’re left with is strong enough to overcome anything. That’s the position I’m in. I took the leap.

On the other hand, he could move to you, you might have a little less, but be equally as happy as you would have been anywhere. Or it’ll put a strain on the relationship, and he might resent you for having him move.

Whatever you decide, you should decide to try in favor of love. You can always walk away or “come home”, but you’ll never forgive yourself if you don’t take the risk. Opportunity is not a lengthy visitor, and it’ll will forever be the chance that you missed, if you don’t take it.

Despite my own position, I would go with the option to travel to him. A new adventure can make the beginning of something truly remarkable, plus you’ll get to know everything you both have to teach each other.

I don’t know. I think your co-dependency might be taking over. Either that, or you’re a true romantic. What is so wrong with stability and the man waiting for you here?

Interesting. Something you just said is very telling to me. “ahh can I really do this?” should be “ahh do I really want to do this?” Do you see the difference? Which country- if you don’t mind me asking?

Heh, thanks. I’m trying to get to the bottom of this 🙂 So what I’m getting at is that you should ALREADY have the confidence to KNOW you CAN do it.(confidence thing). So knowing if you want to do it is completely independent from that or secondary, if you will. Let’s focus on the root first. Why don’t you think you can do this?

Oh, if you know you can and you want to, go for it! Those are normal and real concerns you mentioned. I went through it and have no regrets, myself. One other thing- do it because you would do it with or without the person you want to be with. Because the safety net is only you. Good luck!

You’re welcome! And no shame in taking the opportunity as a stepping stone for what you really want to do in life 🙂