How? By saying… “Self, it’s time to say no to the projects and problems and yes to personal time” 🙂 Except the projects and problems will be there until you deal with them. Just maybe put personal time in the same queue as the priorities. Meaning, give equal weight to them all. Do a little here…a little there…etc. you know- juggle everything! That way, you’re actually not saying no to anything. Personal needs are basic human needs. You cannot actualize without basic needs met first anyway. At least according to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs.

Ever since I was a teen, I can spot a bad guy a mile away. I’ve never been attracted to them no matter what they looked like. I’ll pick a “good guy” over a “bad guy” every time. Does that make me an exception to the rule? I don’t think so. I think the problem is just that some men play the “competition game” so well that a lot of women can’t distinguish the difference between arrogance and confidence. One of which is attractive.

Like Anita, I’m curious as to who keeps bringing up the lost time? If it’s him, then he’s trying to make you feel guilty. That is not a good start to a healthy marriage. Probably should hold off on getting married. If it’s you, then get married and spend your time making it up to him. I think eventually, his appreciation will make you feel better.

That’s great that you are aware of your co-dependent tendencies and working on yourself! It does appear that you have an anxious attachment to this guy, so “playing it cool” is not the route to take with him. You actually should be opening up your feelings to him no matter how uncomfortable it may be. Otherwise, you prolong this feeling of un-fulfillment with him. You might as well find out where you stand and be truly free to move forward with him or without him. That is true independence.

Dreaming715,
Then that means your relationship is over. Either you or him is delaying the inevitable. If you can’t communicate or feel open to communicate being yourself, what’s the point of holding on to this relationship? Are you co -dependent?

It’s not unreasonable to expect your significant other to show regard for your feelings. But have you ever brought up how you’ve been feeling? If so, how did he respond?

It’s simple. Get out of your current relationship before getting into a new one! It’s really unfair what you are doing to your wife, the other woman and yourself. Be responsible and do the right thing. You obviously do not love your wife otherwise you wouldn’t be trying to stray away from her. So tell your wife your feelings honestly-about needing solitude, about the other woman you have feelings for. You’d be surprised of what she already knows in her gut!