Crossroad to my future

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    I’ve been dealing with doubts for a while now. There was a time in my life when I thought I knew for sure what I wanted to do after high school. I’m eighteen now, and only have a few more months left to decide what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life.

    I always thought that I wanted to do something challenging, something difficult (honours university college). But now I find myself thinking more and more often: what if that’s not what I want at all. There are other things I love doing. I love acting for example. I can see myself doing that a lot in the future, just as I can see myself going to a university college. I don’t know how to discover what will work best for me. I know I will be truly unhappy if I won’t be able to choose the right thing. I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.

    I feel completely stuck, but am not able to admit that to anyone else but myself. I’ve joked about it to some of my friends, but that’s all. I don’t want to break down in front of them. I can’t. They would treat me differently if I do, and I don’t want that.

    The reason I am posting my troubled thoughts here on this website is because no one here knows me. I want an opinion from someone who can look objectively. I hope you can help me discover what my next step should be. How do I need to start looking for answers? And (if you’ve ever experienced something similar) how did you deal with your indecisiveness?


    hi kat, i’m sorry you’re feeling stuck and anxious, its not a nice feeling at all. I was in a similar position earlier in the year, just completely stuck and I had no idea what to do or how to get ‘unstuck’, but it came to me one day that the only thing I could do to get out of this feeling was to do something- anything. so I called up a friend and we started running together once a week, it sort of died down so I joined a running club, and then I thought i’d join a dance class, and then a yoga class. and though i’m still trying to find my way through the maze of life, i’m slowly getting unstuck. my point is though you’re not sure whether to go to college or try acting I think its just a matter of trying one thing and seeing if it works, then try another. at 18 you have your whole life ahead of you. I would love the chance to be that age again, I would’ve liked to have spent more time trying all sorts of things. good luck to you!


    Hi Kat,

    I think admitting your stuck is the beginning of change. There may be more steps to come before you know which way you are headed. It’s funny I’m almost 50 years old, and I remember feeling stuck at many points in my life. I been through a great many things that others would consider traumatic. I wanted to be a singer when I was 18. I wanted to go to college but didn’t have grades and didn’t have the money. I wanted to be a writer but couldn’t spell to save my life. I graduated in May with a masters degree after 6 years of constant studying and am beginning my career as a therapist. I joined a choir at my church two months ago, and I love singing. I am working on writing short stories because I love writing. (the last 6 years taught me to spell better and they invented this thing called a spell checker lol). When I was 18, I held myself back from doing all the things I wanted to because I was afraid of all the things I felt I was not. Today I follow my passion.

    I am doing what I love, and I am not as worried about how it will work out. I focus on the experience I am having in my life. When I get worried about taking a turn in my life, I tell myself its an experiment and I can change directions if I feel it is not working out. I found, after 15 years in a domestic violence relationship, there is time to try out new things even after you life implodes. We do not have to live life in a cookie=cutter way. There is time to do many things in our life and we might have a plan, but we need to cultivate resilience in ourselves. I sometimes think lack of confidence in our own abilities are what hold us back the most. Along with fear of making a mistake.

    I was an extreme planner. I had a plan for everything, and I can tell you, not one thing I ever planned turned out how I expected it. I have finally learned to go with the flow and be excited about not knowing how things will turn out. I use everything as a learning experience. I have more confidence that I will be able to handle whatever comes my way. I still get scared, and I still worry over some of the bigger things. When that begins to happen, I breath slower, take it one step at a time and let go (and look at what I am learning from the process of living). By the way, I am the mother of two very wonderful sons. Both were not planned. Had I not taken the turns I did I would not have their love and encouragement. Both of them tell me how proud of me they are for going back to school. I remind them its o.k. to take a turn in life that didn’t workout the way you wanted it to. I hope I have done my best to cultivate in them resilience. Stay open to your opportunities. You will figure it all out as you go.

    I wish you all the best in your life journey. Which ever road you choose, know that life is a continuous stream of opportunities.


    Thank you for your help! My rational mind tells me that you’re right. It’s just that (like everyone else) I don’t like making choices that I’ll regret later on. It is true that I could just try both options to see what works best for me, but it doesn’t give me peace of mind. I guess that once I’m off doing one of my options, I’ll find that peace. Reading your messages made me realise that, and it eases my mind a little bit. At least I can sleep now, once again realising that there is a gray area. Thing don’t have to be either black or white.

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