Hi friends! I am a little lost/confused and wanted to reach out for some advice about dating. Over the last five months, I have been talking to someone via text. We have met and hung out couple of times in person and he is actually one of my best friend’s brother. I’m 29 and he is 36. (My friend lives out of state and although we have been friends for years, I had actually never met her brother, and as far as I know, she does not know that he and I have been talking. I am a very private person and do not like to discuss this kind of thing with very many people—hence me asking for advice on here.) He’s a very interesting guy. We work in the same industry: filmmaking/entertainment which is nice. When we text, most of the time he seems like a man of few words. And often times, I am the one texting first. That may sound trivial, but as a woman, I do want to be pursued and not feel as if I am the one pursuing this. In our text conversations he will sometimes say sweet things like give me nicknames or ask me to come over (even though I really can’t because we do live a few hours from each other). Those moments are sweet. In person he is hilarious and made me laugh so much, which can be tough for me because I am an improviser and writer and a lot of the guys I have dated just have not made me laugh, which is something I would really like in a relationship. I am honestly not sure what his actual feelings for me are. I realize that he could just have a flirtatious personality and that I am just reading into things. It should also be noted that I am a Christian. I do not consider myself religious (that word seems like it carries too much emphasis on rules and regulations). Spiritual isn’t the right word for me either as I feel as if it seems too whimsical for me. I like to call myself relational; to love on people and treat them with kindness. Yes, I love Jesus, and I actually have a degree in ministry, and my relationship with God is very important to me. I also have certain convictions that I live by: ie, waiting until marriage to have sex. I know that this guy does not have that same conviction, and that he isn’t as sincere in his relationship with God as I am. This is my only hesitation in revealing how I feel towards him. Am I reading into something that isn’t there?
To add to this, another guy I have met has been talking to me as well. I haven’t done much to pursue this as I have really enjoyed the other guy (to cut down confusion we will call him Guy 1) . But this guy (Guy 2) is a Christian. He is younger than I am. He’s about to turn 25. (I’m 29). He is also in the entertainment/filmmaking industry. His texts/conversations are much more full. He will send me pretty long texts at times and share more about his life/day/perspective than Guy 1. I like this, but I also (at times) like the mystery that Guy 1 has in his lack of information (however, most of the time, it’s a little annoying). He will also text me first and even call me, and I do feel pursued by him and not as if I am pursuing him. However, I am just not sure how I feel about him as I have had my attention on Guy 1.
I guess my question is, do I drop Guy 1 and start focusing on Guy2? Stop focusing on both guys? Just be upfront with Guy 1 and say: Hey, this is what I’m thinking, what are you thinking?
It should be noted that I am not the kind of girl who juggles guys. I’m not one of those girls who needs to be in a relationship all the time. I am very independent and I like that about myself. But like everyone else on the planet, of course I want a relationship and someone to care about.
Any insight and advice will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!