fbpx
Menu

Dazed and Confused

Home→Forums→Relationships→Dazed and Confused

New Reply
Viewing 4 posts - 31 through 34 (of 34 total)
1 2 3
  • Author
    Posts
  • July 20, 2017 at 6:44 am #159134
    Dawn R
    Participant

    Hi Jeff,

    Her “I’m thinking about it…” just leads you to obsess over whether or not she really means it.  In my opinion, regardless of what happens with her, it sounds like it would be really helpful for you to learn to be alone.  The reason why it feels “wrong” to you is because it’s so unfamiliar.  You’ve said you’ve never really been alone.  So for you to learn to not feel lonely when you’re alone would be a worthy goal.  Focus on  yourself, learn more about yourself, and be more comfortable with  yourself when no one else is around.

    Yes X, we all need to feel whole and complete without the help of anyone else in our life.  It is in our discovery that we can create more of the life that we want for ourselves, and perhaps eventually, give more of our Authentic Self to someone else who is equally invested in our Well-Being.

    Good luck Jeff!

    Dawn

    July 21, 2017 at 10:26 am #159406
    Jeff
    Participant

    Dawn and others

    Yes it has been difficult this week. I keep thinking she is going to call and give me the “no it isn’t going to work or yes maybe it could work out”.  The “I’m thinking about it” response just got my hopes up for 24 hours and then I came crashing down. I wish there was a way to get closure or now how she feels. But there isn’t and I cannot keep going back to the well on my hands and knees. I deserve no answers as we have broken up, but deep down I thought that there would be some conclusion. I guess this proves the point of not getting in contact with your ex.

    I am not sure how to move on. I do want to spend some time alone, but not sure how to do that since I have never done it. I tried it this week and I feel like a loser and everyone knows that I am single with few friends in the area.

    So at this point still struggling with all of this, but I guess in reality it truly has only been 2 weeks. It just seems longer and I seem to feel worse over the last few days.

    Thanks Jeff

    July 22, 2017 at 1:28 pm #159626
    Jeff
    Participant

    Well she did text me today and told me she needs to move on. She is going to focus on her kids and be alone. So it is done and I’m numb and heartbroken.

    She was what I thought I wanted. Of course she was smart, witty, hard nosed and beautiful. But in the end did not love me. She gave me everything I wanted but couldn’t give me what I needed/craved: love.

    Not sure how or how long this will take me to see daylight again. But I feel crushed. Life right now sucks again feel like a rudderless boat in the ocean.

    Thanks to all that have responded.

    Jeff

    August 3, 2017 at 12:13 pm #161946
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Hi, Jeff!

    Sorry to respond so late – have been without the internet for some time.

    I wanted to share one word of caution with you. I realised some time ago that on some subconscious level I felt ashamed not to have a boyfriend. I fought this feeling of inadequacy successfully until I was 24 years old. But then, when all my internal deadlines were passed, I sort of freaked out. It probably sounds more abrupt and drastic than it really was, but I do remember myself looking at every man I met at the time thinking whether he might be THE ONE. I now find that this feeling significantly contributed to my first relationship with a man, which, in turn, led to my relationship #2. Also, I find that my boyfriend #3 had the same deep-hidden, internal need to be able to tell everybody around him and to himself that he was happily in love and had a relationship, which, in turn, could not lead to a happily ever after by definition.

    So please, please do everything you can not to feel inadequate, not normal, not worthy, not like others just because you are single. Being single is just a state, just like being in a relationship. It is perfectly okay, nothing wrong with it at all.

    Good luck!

    Wishing you a speedy recovery,

    X

  • Author
    Posts
Viewing 4 posts - 31 through 34 (of 34 total)
1 2 3

You must be logged in to reply to this topic. Please log in OR register.