Hi Jennifer,

I don’t know if I can help but let you know I feel very similar. I’m in a career that I don’t hate but it doesn’t fulfil me. I’m also saving up to make a career change and start fresh hopefully. All my friends are focused on their white picket fences, climbing the corporate ladder or just continuing in their normal lives. I feel like I need more purpose, that there must be something more for me.

A few things that have helped me but haven’t solved the problem are keeping active and busy. Being more independent, meeting new people and trying new things. Keeping small goals of things you want to do and trying to better yourself in little ways.

Nothing has helped fully I’m afraid. I feel like they are all just things I do to take up my time until I find the solution that will fulfil me. I think you just need to keep trying things until you find what makes you feel fulfilled and happy. Don’t let your friends or social boundaries put you off. Do what you think will make you happy not what makes them happy. I think the fact that your determined to make a change in your life/career is great and I hope it will give you renewed purpose. You know that you are not happy now so changing things up can only improve your situation.

Hope this helps and makes sense. Keep your head up and your heart strong.

Cheers,
WW

I guess I feel I have drifted away from my friends….that conventional path of getting promotions at work, then getting a house, car, kids….I feel that is very empty. I am trying to find more meaning to life….through mindfulness meditation, through reading zen books & listening to TEDtalk. Yet I feel a very small population is opened to talking about this stuff.

well, there are a few of us here very willing to talk about that stuff. See thread on spirituality started by moongal.

Making a living and money, I find are obstacles to happiness, in my view. We get stuck at survival level, worried about our finances, and we neglect spirituality. Unless of course we make use of our suffering, and become more compassionate.

Dear Jennifer,

I have felt lost and lonely often so far. Some of it has been situation-based (lack of company/boredom), some of it due to depression/social anxiety and a lot of it due to disconnect (despite having people around, loved ones even). I do empathize with the disconnect and confusion you may be experiencing at this moment – It is difficult to make a shift and to feel like the people you usually associate with dont understand your state at all and neither do you understand theirs. This lack of connection leads to more loneliness despite having people around. I would say the way out would be to have some compassion for those friends who are on a different path than you – let us not call it a conventional or non-conventional one because these labels create more barriers.

Perhaps they find meaning through this way – you find meaning through another. Find other activities and topics that would be of interest to both of you instead which arent too heavy on the pocket. If they’re good people at heart, that is all that really matters in the end i think. Go for one-on-one instead of group to reduce the effect of their thoughts until you find peace with yours. The important thing is that is that their lack of understanding isnt a reflection of you or your path in any way. You need to trust yourself and take the necessary steps.

PS: It isnt about whether a small population wants to talk about these things – the internet kinda solves that problem actually. I come from a culture deeply ingrained in many religions and worship. I am not that religious by definition and I like to go about by what i feel is correct according to my conscience and common sense. The real challenge has been respecting the paths of others while trying to be confident of my own. It hasnt been easy though given that they are also very ingrained into a set way of life – marry at a certain age, have this/that career by this time, fancy colleges and jobs, promotions etc – societal comparisons are immense here. Here’s the thing though – my generation is changing quite a bit in this regard, particularly after the first job (4-5 years later). However, it varies with everyone actually. Nonetheless, if you have confidence in your way despite the uncertainty, then all of this will cease to matter on a larger canvas.

Regards,
Moon

Dear Jennifer:

You are welcome. May you be comfortable being where you are in life right now, be it unemployed, single, exploring. Once you are truly comfortable with how things are in your life, then you are way ahead many of the people following conventional “wisdom”

anita

you could try this one if you like