Home→Forums→Relationships→Dealing with my second breakup
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July 19, 2015 at 2:34 pm #80095IsaParticipant
I need some help…Well, I need perspectives from strangers lol
First of all, I’m sorry for my english.
My boyfriend broke up with me last week and I cut communication with him on that same day, since I read a lot about the no contact rule in my first breakup.
But let me explain you the context. I dated with him for 10 months and we live in different countries. I met him in a social networking and we start exchanging texts. I always give the benefit of the doubt, but I thought the relationship was developing too fast. He was very jealous about the amount of men that was following me on that social networking and there were fights over that. So a few time after, I unfollowed everybody I was following, but well I never talked to anybody else…I didn’t even ever like male selfies.
In the third month of our relationship, he booked the flight to meet me, a month later he told to his family he was in love with me. I didn’t want to tell to my family that fast but he made pressure to do it, and he said that I wasnt taking serious the relationship and he loved more than I did.
In the 7th month he wanted to meet my family when he came the second time to my country. But it was that time that he got weird and he just was complaining about everything about my culture, he was always bored here saying that in my city there was nothing to do, etc. I was a bit frustrated, because I did everything to make him feel well here and my family treated him very well. We bought everything he liked to eat and when he got a headache I drove to the pharmacy at 5 am to pick him medicine, since he said he couldn’t stand the pain.
In these last months, he always started fights with me over the most stupid things. I guess he just tried to make our relationship end that way.
Before he came that second time, he made a lot of pressure to me to tell him when I was going to move to his country. But I told him that I wanted to graduate from college first before I tell when it would happen, which is going to happen in September.
Well, I always give my best to please this person, I always was very respectful and loyal. This last week he said he didn’t want to be in a relationship, that it was not his thing. He said that he suffered from fear of commitment.
So I don’t really understand this…He pressured me and made me feel guilty sometimes thinking that I wasn’t doing the right thing to take things slowly. And he was the one who broke up because he said he had fear of commitment.
It pisses me off how things ended and the fact that he doesn’t even have consideration for a person who was going to move to another country to be with him.
His mother contacted me last week saying that if I wanted to talk, I could call her whenever I wanted to. I don’t know if it’s right to talk to her and I said I would prefer to cut communication so I could heal. Do you think I did the right thing? Should I talk to her?
Sometimes I really want to vent about this.
I wish he regretted but do you think it’s probable to regret in these conditions?Other details to this story: he was struggling with money and said he failed in life because of that. He had depression 3 years ago. He had a hard past with his parents divorce and etc.
Thank you for reading.
July 19, 2015 at 6:41 pm #80101AnonymousInactiveTo be honest, I think you did do the right thing in this situation by cutting communication off. I don’t think it would be a good idea to talk to his mother since she would have a bias opinion and it would probably be hard to open up to her about how poorly he had been treating you. You sound like a very very sweet girl and you deserve someone who will treat you like a queen. Sounds like you were very good to him and made the effort but it seems like it’s time to move on and focus on other things right now. He made his decision and it’s time to let go. You will meet someone better who will treat you right when the time is right. You deserve someone who will not pressure you and will not start fights with you. I hope you are doing well and congratulations in advance for graduating college! 🙂
July 20, 2015 at 3:59 am #80120BlueButterflyParticipantWell, being such a nice girlfriend and did many things to keep him happy what you did was the right thing. Most of us don’t know what we are worth of and we simply chase after the things which we don’t even deserve. You worked so hard for your relationship and he treated you so badly and even started fights over silly things. I appreciate you for what you did. Let him go. You deserve somebody who respects your efforts and appreciate them. I know it hurts but some stuff cannot be avoided in this journey of life. It’s better that you take no help from his mother or his family, it’s better to let things go. Sooner, I promise, you’ll come across the right guy. Good luck!
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