February 3, 2014 at 10:05 am #50210ChelseyParticipant
So recently I’ve been experiencing some stress that have caused minor health issues. I have someone coming back to town who I haven’t seen in a long time and who meant everything to me about a year ago. The stress of knowing I’m going to see her because of the small social circle that we’re in is causing me anxiety- on top of that, I have a group of friends that consists of some that are just way too overbearing. They don’t always respect my space and boundaries and I feel they are a bit too immature for this point in our lives. I’ve decided to take a break from them, in a way, and I sent them a message saying I was going to be laying low for a while- aka, going out less, not communicating regularly. They responded and said they understood but I still sense I’m going to get some pushback. But for me, I need time to reevaluate some things and get grounded again so I can deal with stress better without distractions.
Has anyone else ever done something like this before? I feel like I could use advice on what I could be doing on top of exercising and writing in order to make this time useful. As well as how to deal with people who may not understand.February 3, 2014 at 7:41 pm #50240flynnParticipant
people will come and go from your life, some will leave a amazing impression and others may hurt you, these are all lessons in our own personal lives that teach us much about ourselves. Letting go of people in your life can be difficult, may cause guilt and may even feel selfish at times, I know because this recently happened to me. I was great friends with someone for 15 years, but she changed over the last couple of years from a person who was full of life, fun, carefree, to a woman who was emotional, sad, jaded and cynical.
In any case, we fell out over what I thought was a minor thing,( forgot to call her back to meet us for a free concert) but to her it was the end of the world, I tried to fix things, apologize and go see her, she just wouldn’t let it go and kept hashing it out and turned mean. It was tough for me to do, but after many attempts to connect, she proved unchanged and got worse in her sarcasm, I let her go at new year and put an end to trying. I believe this will help her, she may reflect on this experience and one day realize forgiveness and perhaps your acquaintances will be helped too.
The decisions we make are not just ours, they always affect others. The way we live our lives will inspire those who know us, to either do similar things, be better people or to avoid what we have done, either way, its an inspiration. Your decision to spend less time with them will open up new experiences and possibilities and chance meetings with new people.
During this time, seek out likeminded people, read (that’s what I’ve been doing) Take up hot yoga (you will meet some terrific people) and go somewhere you’ve never gone before, perhaps a store you’ve walked by a 1000 times, a park or hiking trail, a café…just try some new experience and my favorite: go to the movies by yourself, be your own best friend and find your inner bestie, then you will connect with you again and be less stressed with or without others. Wishing you wellFebruary 3, 2014 at 11:19 pm #50255Annie PParticipant
Never feel guilty about taking care of yourself. You know what is right for you, so have the courage to follow your intuition. People may not understand or agree with your choices, but when your motivation is to grow and evolve honestly, you have nothing to feel badly about.
AnnieFebruary 4, 2014 at 2:36 pm #50280Laura G. JonesParticipant
I think what you’re doing can be a very good things. Don’t allow their protests to get to you – you are working on finding your voice and the courage to stand in the space that belongs to you – without being pulled in a million directions.
Remember that no one can hurt you without your consent. This piece of advice has taken me very far. No matter what they say or what happens – you are the only one who can influence your feelings.
I definitely recommend reading a bunch of good books (both in the personal development field and whatever you like), meditating, writing and journaling, but I think what’s most important is exploring what you really like. Doing what feels good. Learning to follow your intuition, day-in, day-out, about the smallest things. A lot of times when we’re with friends we never even stop to consider “what is it that I really want to do?” We just follow suit and do what everyone else wants to do. This is the perfect time for you to just foster your awareness and start paying attention to what feels right to you, and the directions your intuition is pulling you towards.
I commend you for taking this time for yourself. I’m sure it will be a time of transformation and discovery you’ll be grateful you had.