Defining Moments/ Healthy Habits

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This topic has 9 replies, 4 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 11 months ago by Anonymous.

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December 5, 2015 at 1:25 pm #88949
Seaisland
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I grew up around a mixture of very kind and very cruel people, I guess most of us have. As a young child seeing someone say complimentary comments to someone’s face and then laugh at them behind their back was a hurtful awakening. Throughout life we have all seen people have something to celebrate and family, close friends not be sincerely happy for them—but pretend to their faces they were.

When I started having panic attacks and other health related issues–a lot of my “friends” disappeared. I had always been so strong, so together it pained them to see me not “myself”. (ohhh, poor you having to look at me not being strong) Well, I just wasn’t there for them to lean on as they always had-thru their alcoholism, drug use, marital issues, or always having a spare bedroom, automobile to borrow.
–
I became free of a lot of B S. I got busy taking care of me–the people, therapist, books, who were there for me were treasures. I learned tools to get back up faster when I did get down. I didn’t care if I wasn’t everyone’s favorite person.

I became my favorite person in the whole wide world. I had to look myself in the mirror and like what I saw. I need to keep growing and keep liking who I see.

I try to be sincere—when I think something nice about someone, I tell them. If I hear someone else say something nice about someone-I tell them the compliment and who said it.

those are simple things, but I don’t have to be in a smart, try hard frame of mind to follow through. I have many more but I want to hear your mantras or defining moments.

does anybody else have some simple habits to share.
Lazy Saneness 101
- This topic was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by Seaisland.
December 5, 2015 at 3:13 pm #88951

jock
Participant

authenticity or living an authentic life being true to yourself, your own needs, is possibly what you are saying.
gossip is a terrible thing, a bad habit I used to have. I try to be loyal these days. Loyalty is something I really value now.

December 5, 2015 at 4:05 pm #88954
Seaisland
Participant
I had some self destructive habits–but I have always been over sensitive about seeing people hurt each other. I have a sharp tongue and realized I did it myself. I do try to avoid people I cannot trust to be truthful or I cannot truthfully enjoy being around.

Loyalty is something I do really value, you are right. I have been betrayed on levels that were so painful and public I thought I would die of shame. But I didn’t. There are people I cannot forgive–I have peace from therapy of talking about it…and putting it in a place of closure. On the other hand I forgave debts of Thousands of $ on the condition they left the area and moved at least two states over.
lol the wrath of a woman.
- This reply was modified 8 years, 11 months ago by Seaisland.
December 5, 2015 at 7:01 pm #88976

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Seaisland:

It was difficult for me to understand much of your post. I think it is vague and unclear. You write that your family members, people in your childhood talked to people one way in their presence and totally differently behind their back and that disturbed you a lot. You were betrayed yourself, shamed to the core and have seen other people hurt by the insincerity you were surrounded by. You were the strong, all together person for family members to rely on, and gave your resources, your money away to them…

Maybe you can rewrite if you would like. What wrath of a woman are you referring to? What was being strong and all together about? How are your relationships, if any, with family members in the present?

anita

December 5, 2015 at 8:45 pm #88993

Seaisland
Participant

I can ramble. I am an animated person and what I say is often acted out and probably comes across unclear written when I am emotional.
I try again later–I am fine, had a day that was loud and unsettling. I have post traumatic stress and some things triggered some bad memories today. I was in no danger or confrontation.
I have settled down now and will leave it until a better time.
thanks

December 6, 2015 at 8:49 am #89001

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Seaisisland:

Take your time, of course. I know PTSD quite well, I believe. Post anytime. I will look forward to read and understand!
anita

December 8, 2015 at 11:20 am #89255

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Seaisland:

I miss your here. Where and how are you? Please do post again!

anita

December 8, 2015 at 3:18 pm #89263

Saiisha
Participant

One of my favorite simple habits is simply to unplug and be by myself. I really enjoy doing that, and yet don’t do it enough – or it doesn’t seem enough!

December 9, 2015 at 3:10 pm #89316

Seaisland
Participant

thanks for the kind words Anita
I am back….
I got really anxious because my therapist got assigned elsewhere(wont go into my health plan)
I was in a mild panic about seeing someone new-trust issues.

The military did a mock exercise in a deserted area about 1/4 mile from my house with helicopters, loud ammunition shots late at night.
I didn’t like the noise. I wasn’t mentally prepared.

I am grateful for the military. I got shook up for nothing.
I met my new therapist–it will be fine

Salisha-thanks–good advice, all kool.

December 9, 2015 at 6:24 pm #89337

Anonymous
Guest

Dear Seaisland:

Good to have you back. It is okay if you are back when not doing well as well as when doing better. New therapist, hope new good things in store with the new therapist.

anita
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