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November 19, 2017 at 7:39 am #178629Nancy SheldonParticipant
So I am in my early 20’s. I have always been someone who hasn’t been genuinely happy for anything. My mom used to complain about how quickly I get sad or emotional. Things became worse after my college days. The one person I gave my heart to chose someone else. I mean I don’t blame him for making that choice. But it’s gonna be 3 years and it still hurts me to think that I wasn’t the one he chose. He is my good friend and I do everything to keep him happy but ultimately I get into a phase which I cannot explain. I space out thinking about the events over and over about how I ll never be the one for him. I am so screwed that I don’t even know which act of mine is true and which isn’t. I get drunk and let out my inner feelings which turn extra bad for me because my friends don’t know what’s happening to me in real. I have let down my friends family and myself. I don’t know where to start. I need help
November 19, 2017 at 7:44 am #178639AnonymousGuestDear Nancy Sheldon:
You wrote: “My mom used to complain about how quickly I get sad or emotional”- any of your sadness caused by her?
anita
November 20, 2017 at 7:31 am #178717PeterParticipantRecognizing that you are depressed is the first step, so you’re on your way. A part of the issue seems to be related to your conciseness fixated on the past and imagining a future that can not be. This tends to be a function of the id or instinctive component of personality. The mind can be like a dog fixated on something barking and barking. Only by diverting the dog’s attention will it stop and often a quick tug on a leash is enough redirect the dog’s attention. Conciseness is like training a dog in that we must learn how to direct it. We need to learn when to let it run and when to have it heel. A part of your recovery will require you to “tug on the leash” a little when your conciseness becomes fixated on unhelpful/unskillful thinking.
You may find talking to a professional helpful. Someone who can view your situation from a impartial perspective.
“We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality.” -Seneca
November 29, 2017 at 5:14 pm #179995MarkParticipantHow are you doing at the physical level? Would you say in good or bad health? There are way too many MDs who still go for immediately drugging patients and therapists who ignore physical basics in favor of the things they think they can alter.
Depression and chronic emotional stress have profound effects on your immunity and this can drag you down long before obvious physical manifestations. The depression itself can produce chronic illness, this was and still is part of the conundrum of “chronic fatigue syndrome”. There are some thing you can do right away.
How is your diet? Any addictive-type “binge” eating going on with sugary starches/dairy/fatty foods? Many of these will develop addictive responses, and as the book “Salt Sugar Fat” shows, the “snack foods” have been engineered to produce exactly this result. Eat “whole” foods only, snack on fresh fruits, explore the wonderful world of smoothies where you can create nutritionally-dense meals and snacks that will actually get you well. The web teems with resources for this.
Try a fast. Just one day will do for a start; a genius researcher at USC, Dr. Valter Longo, studies the effects of fasting on immunity, his work applies to everything from curing “autoimmune” conditions resistant to all conventional treatments and cancer (both prevention and treatment) as well. You can see his videos on Youtube, and USC has sites explaining his work in very accessible terms.
There are some really good MDs whose work on diet everyone should know about. Dr. Mark Hyman is on PBS lately promoting some kind of “Eat fat get healthy” thing but you can obtain his excellent “Ultrametabolism” used for really cheap on line. That one book or others by Dr. Daniel Amen (the brain imaging guy also on PBS) might be enough to restore your energy and direction all by themselves.
It wouldn’t hurt to do some physical exercise and just plain try and get strong. Some basic Hatha yoga (the old paperbacks by Richard Hittleman or later by Lilias Folan will do) can work miracles. There are free lessons on line. Learn how to breathe properly (the “alternate nostril” procedure will balance out BOTH hyper and depressive states!) The shoulder stand (stimulates the thyroid) plus the plow, and especially the sequence cobra-locust-bow have profound effects on your nervous system and are so much better than the Prozac drugs it’s criminal they throw meds at people without telling them about this stuff. (the SSRI drugs are out-and-out dangerous as can be seen at the sites SSRI.org and .net.) Plus they habituate and stop working just as abruptly as they sometimes start, yet most MDs are afraid to even warn the patient of this.
Low thyroid can produce depression all by itself. Look up the risk factors and see if they might apply to you, there are self-care strategies you can do long before resorting to expensive drugs that are probably better ways to deal with it as well.
“Fall in love with yourself if no one else will”–Dr. Arnold Ehret
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