Depressed and confused…

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    Hi everyone,

    I have been suffering depression for almost one year now. It started when I was on the last year of college. Back then, I started to realize that when I graduate, I will have to decide what I want to do with my life. I started to think about it but I just cannot answer it. I do not know what I want to do at all. Right now, I am waiting for my graduation on November and I am searching for a job. However, I cannot decide what job that I want to have because I think I am not good in anything at all. I took literature as my major and in my country this major is considered useless. I am also a shy and socially awkward person, who tends to have negative thoughts in my head. As an example, I was scared of taking some job opportunities that my friends offered just because I thought I would not be suitable or successful with the jobs. I know I should have tried first but I just cannot do it. I am trapped in my comfort zone and I really hate myself for it. I have been reading a lot of stories in TinyBuddha and also other motivational books and it makes me becomes motivated, but it does not last long. The negative thoughts keep coming back over and over again, and I am really afraid of losing control over myself. I want to have a better life but I just do not know how.


    Hey Joe,

    I understand your state of mind…

    Let me tell you, that you’re not the only one shy person here, I’m shy too and takes a lot of strength for me to socialize (even with friends).

    Be open to try jobs, these dillemas are always there as to which stream/field to choose for job. Although one stream might be of interest but might not have many opportunities. There will be some other which might interest you. Keep looking for it. Don’t close yourself to job options. Only when you be open and try it out, you’ll know how comfortable you’re with it. And for the opportunities you missed, don’t lament over it, move on and grab the next ones.

    ‘Hate’ is a very strong word, I would say never refer it to yourself or for anybody.

    It’s ok if the thought cycle is back and forth (positive and negative). Mind is a strange place…very difficult to handle! What is good is, you can atleast manage to get yourself on track with help from motivational stuffs. After all, we all need help. I would appreciate you for the efforts you’ve been putting in to get yourself on track. That’s commendable, not everyone can do that.

    All the Best…


    Thank you for your kind words, Anyone. You are right, I am so sick of regretting things. I always have problem with getting out from my comfort zone and trying something new. Maybe it’s because I am afraid of uncertainty too much. The only thing that keeps me going is the fact that I do not want to make my family disappointed of me because they have done so much for me.


    One idea (I don’t know if you’re into this) is to teach English overseas (Assuming your from US, Canada, UK Australia). All you need is a university degree (of any sort) and sometimes a teaching certificate. I would reccomend this because:
    1) it is a way to travel abroad and still make money
    2) it gives you a bigger perspective on the world
    3) it gives you a break from your previous life to do something totally different

    You sound like you don’t really fit in and want something different to come along. I would suggest doing something outside your comfort zone to grow. Once you grow you may find something that you have a passion for, which makes life much better. The above is only one suggestion, and only applies if you want to travel and like teaching, but look around and see what other things you can do.

    Also don’t feel obliged to anyone for anything. You have your whole life to find a job. Just live your life the way you want to live it and let things fall into place. Once you’re happier socializing will become easier. Naturally people are drawn to positive people.

    Best of luck.

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