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Depressed and no idea what to do

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  • This topic has 4 replies, 2 voices, and was last updated 7 years ago by Anonymous.
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  • December 11, 2017 at 6:16 am #181483
    Mm
    Participant

    Hi. I am new here and i really feel down for the past few weeks. Thing is, i am turning 28 in a couple of days and i feel like i am getting old and nowhere near what i want in my life. So, i am from a poor family and i wanted to give my parents a better life so i decided to work overseas. I am a nurse in my home country but i am working as a live in caregiver for 3 years now. There are times that it gets really lonely especially that i stay with my employer 24/7 as it’s difficult to leave her alone because of her condition. I was able to help my family out (i built them a houseand help out financially). Now that i was able to help them, i no longer hear calls from them or even a simple text message. There are times that i feel like that’s my role in my family, just to lend a hand. It’s not like i want them to praise me for what i did… but working here gets really lonely. The last time i spoke to my family was when i lashed out and told them i was so tired already. I met a guy last year and i thought it’ll go well until he told me that we cannot be together because i have too much baggage (meaning, i am helping my family). I don’t regret helping them but there are times that i really get disappointed.

    Now that i am turning 28, i feel like i am old already and most of the people the same age as mine are doing well with their careers and/or are married. I want to pursue my nursing career again but that will take time (processing time/change countries as this country don’t accept foreign nurses). I feel that by that time i will be older … (i dont know i am confused)

    December 11, 2017 at 7:06 am #181521
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear  Mm:

    You wrote that by the time you will be processed as a nurse where you now live, you will be older. True, you will. But you will be older no matter what, whether processed or not. As long as you live, you will get older as time goes.

    We can’t stop time, and we can’t stop getting older.

    What you can stop is that role, helping your parents. You bought them a house and sent them money. Stop it now. Put this role behind you.

    Can you do that, leave that role behind?

    anita

    December 11, 2017 at 9:51 am #181571
    Mm
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thanks for the response. Yes i think i can. I had the whole day thinking and i decided that it’s about time that i focus on myself.. And you’re right, i am going old whether i like it or not so why don’t i pursue what i really want in my life. It’s never too late, right? Thank you for the advice. 🙂

     

    Mm

    December 11, 2017 at 10:17 am #181577
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Mm:

    You are welcome. It is not easy to give up a lifetime role. From personal experience, it leaves emptiness where that role was. I hope you can handle that emptiness and fill it with living your own life, making you the center of you life. It is the right thing to do. Post again, anytime.

    anita

    December 11, 2017 at 10:18 am #181579
    Anonymous
    Guest

    * didn’t submit correctly…

    December 21, 2017 at 7:29 am #183095
    Mecyll
    Participant

    Dear Mm:

    I could relate to your experience. I also felt like I only function as a “money lender” to the family since years. Especially when I started working as a high school teacher earning $100 (5,000 Philippine pesos) per month until I worked as a freelance writer earning $350 (20,000 Philippine pesos) per month. For years of working, I couldn’t save a single cent because 95% of my earnings go to my family all the time. Before I could provide them the money, they usually treat me nicely and if they get what they wanted, they return to their old ways. That’s why I could feel your situation. And I am pretty sure that situation will go on just what I have experienced myself.

    However…

    Feeling empty, lonely, or angry towards your family is really up to your choice. It’s also your decision to stand for your cause — your finances, personal matters, etc. and talk to them how you really felt. If not, have someone to talk to. In my case, I am grateful I have my sister and my husband to listen my rants, complaints.

    Right now, having them beside me whenever I feel bad made me feel great. As someone who experienced the way you do, I could really suggest two things. 1) Talk to your family about how you really feel with how they behave after you have helped them, 2) Have someone to talk to. Sincere person/s who will listen to your rants. I bet it will help you out.

    Hope these suggestions will give you satisfaction

     

    Mecyll

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