Ya I know what you mean Anita. I meant that if all this hadn’t happened, I would not have had the additional pain and anguish of this issue on my heart. I was making a small gift for her and had been asking another friend from a week to see if it’s okay. The latter has enough time to post a number of selfies and stylish statuses but cannot take a minute or two to see my gift. Simply reinforces my feeling that Jerry was one of the few, if not the only, genuine friend I ever had through the years. If I’m destined to be separated from her like this then I wish I just die because I have nothing left. I’m not even enthusiastic about my career or dreams anymore. From last night my own health has deteriorated due to the heat and stress. Of course, people are ever ready to lecture me how mean and evil I am to trouble everybody around me.

If she were with me as lovingly as she was in the past, I feel I could’ve faced this situation and ten times worse. Now that I’ve learned my lesson, I know she may not need me but I need her. She’s my life breath and my heartbeat. I would treasure her more than anyone and anything in my life, and be so grateful for her presence that every other pain in my life would feel like nothing at all. I would try to keep contact limited so that my possessiveness doesn’t exceed limits, ensure to never lose my temper. If I were to succeed in my exams then surely my grandmother would have no choice but to let me go out to college and elsewhere, my parents would be doubly happy and co-operate with me in every way, obviously I would never wish to leave them. If the college is particularly good, much of the damage caused in the past years would be compensated. I would go on to lead a happy life with my parents and my Jerry successfully.

It’s nothing but a dream. 🙁

That depends on whether the college is in my city or outside. If outside, I’ll obviously have to live away from them. If in our city, I would prefer to live at home unless my grandma’s pestering gets too much, in which case I might choose to live in the dorm. After college, I would like to continue to live with my parents as I’ll have a degree, and grandma will not be stopping me from anything then therefore. But that’s still quite far off; medical college takes 5 years to graduate from here.

It isn’t necessary. Quite a lot of people do live apart from their parents, but it’s more due to negative reasons like fights or clashes regarding personal interests. And the society views that negatively. But that isn’t the reason why I want to live with my parents. I want to do it of my own free will as I love them. What’s done is done and at least as a result of all this, we’ve developed a much better understanding, even in these few months. From what I’m seeing in the present, I know there won’t be any disagreements in the future.

I understand and in fact, my parents too prefer that I go out and live alone to study so that I can learn to develop confidence and take care of myself without depending on others. Yesterday after a long time, I took a cab back home alone and they were quite happy about it. I assume there shouldn’t be any problems on that front. As for meeting a young woman… I have not set my eyes and heart on another girl ever since I realized I love Her. I hope I possess enough loyalty and strength of character to keep it that way always. 🙂

Thanks a lot for your genuine concern and good wishes Anita. Means a lot to me.

I hope so. And yup, I don’t deny that is a possibility to meet some girl like that. I imagine it would be easy to give up on my love as a hopeless case and accept someone else… the hard but right thing is staying true to one’s genuine love and resisting temptations and alluring to go with another, despite the seeming hopelessness. That’s what I wish to do always… the right thing and not the easy thing. I guess I’m too naïve but that’s my simple and honest view. 🙂

There won’t be any significant relief from the heat here until October. Just the climate of our region, coupled with frequent power cuts.

Hi Anita. I’m sorry for the long absence; was just engrossed with studies and trying to fight back the depression somehow until the exam was over. I’m finally done with it today and it went just about as good as I could possibly do in my situation. Not excellent but not really bad either. 🙂 Am free for a month now. Thinking of doing some activities I had been holding up for long.

My grandma was ill last month and despite the tension and worry, I stayed up to create birthday gifts for Jerry and she didn’t even bother to reply with a “thank you”. I hope, now that I’m free, I can think of how to make her understand the error of her thinking and let her understand that I genuinely care for her. Anyone reading this, I’m counting on good wishes/prayers/vibes from everyone. She means more to me than I can ever express.