Dear Mandy:

Most likely there is mismanagement and dysfunction in your recent workplace (as there is in most) that has greatly contributed to you getting fired. I am certain that there was dysfunction on the part of your now-separated husband that contributed to the separation and soon to be divorce.

I am equally certain that this “below the surface since my childhood” core belief that you are “faulty in some way” has also contributed to you getting fired and separated. Damaging core beliefs follow us (or we follow them) wherever we go. Interesting part, isn’t it, that no matter how materially successful a person is, a core belief such as this voids the good feeling too soon.

I hope you do take the practical steps to take care of yourself, paying your mortgage or moving to a less expensive yet comfortable home, that you will find a better job, even if it doesn’t pay as much. And I hope that you confront your core belief, the one you mentioned and any other that keeps hurting you. I would like to read from you again.

anita

Dear Mandy,

Right now there are too many scenarios that are happening which created this gigantic and chaotic whirlpool of darkness that has block your sight. So all that you can see right now is a bleak future with little hope to hold your hand.
Since it’s all so overwhelming right now, it is suggested that you take one thing among the piles of to dos and break them down into managaeable steps.

Say you want to start a plan for the depression diagnosis, do you have a therapist in mind yet? If not, is there a directory where you can start? You don’t have to contact anyone right away, just have a few options written down.

Per your employment, can your friends help with recommendation? Are there government centers that might be able to help with your starting point and the next few steps?

But remember, its not about doing all of these things at once but rather breaking them into smaller steps so that it won’t be as overwhelming as it was before. It’s okay to take one step at a time.

And there will be time when you’ll just want to just give up or not give a damn and that’s okay too, it will never be easy. But let yourself feel your loss and everything in between. You’ll probably wake up and face the morning with gritted teeth, losing count in the many times you feel life sucks. You’ll feel that it’s too much, everything feels so heavy and you’re so tired. And in those times, the most you can do is keep moving. You force yourself to because there is a light behind that wall of darkness, the one you will have to make yourself.

You’ve started the first step in asking for help, now it’s up to you to keep going.

• This reply was modified 6 years, 10 months ago by GL.