April 30, 2015 at 8:16 am #75986ZenDenParticipant
Hello Tiny Buddha Peeps,
I am 26 years old and I am currently very dissatisfied with my life (job and other aspects, but we’ll just focus on job for now). I got a degree in business because I “had” to have a college degree. My job is safe and secure, but it is utterly boring and meaningless to me.
I would usually push these feelings away in a panic of self condemnation. I still struggle with these ingrained attitudes, but I have recently learned to hold myself in compassion (3 weeks). I have been nurturing and comforting myself and learning how to take care of myself.
Today I am holding my dissatisfaction in my career without judgement. It is really scary, and I am trying to be kind and understanding to myself for this as well. It is scary because I now know I need to do something about it. I can no longer ignore these feelings while expecting to mysteriously be happy.
I have no idea what I would like to do as a career though? I don’t even know where to start looking. I don’t know what would make me happy or what would fulfill me in a career. How can I connect with this? And how can I overcome the fear of changing careers, especially considering on 33,000 in school debt as it is?
What I don’t like about my job.
-I don’t like the boring repetitive meaningless tasks.
-I hate that I have no input in what I do throughout the day. I just do tasks for the corporate machine.
-I hate that the only way “up” is climbing the career ladder into higher positions which demand different but equally meaningless tasks for keeping the company profitable.
-I hate that I have no control over my advancement in the field. I just have to wait until they promote me on a schedule. I have to wait until they decide to train me for something new. No amount of ambition or desire to learn gets me anywhere (outside of getting my masters degree).
– I also know that while others are all going for their masters because they genuinely like doing this stuff, that is the last thing I would ever ever do. I have no interest in the entire field.
I could really use some guidance here.
ZenDenApril 30, 2015 at 2:51 pm #75995YueParticipant
One of the things I have learned with work is that often, safety and security is just an illusion and if times are bad, these things can suddenly disappear under your feet. There is a talk Jim Carey gave about this and it maybe worthwhile to Youtubue it if you are looking for some inspirations.
As for finding what you like, it seems time that you have a pretty good idea of what it might be by reversing your hate list. If you need something more specific, consider doing a but of research through the net and find something that matches your skills and appeals to your passion.April 30, 2015 at 4:17 pm #75997Alex KipParticipant
Ask yourself and answer these questions…
What lights you up?
What could you talk about for hours with friends?
What would you do if money, time, stress was never a worry?
What do strangers always compliment you on?
What did your parents do?
These may lead closer to something!April 30, 2015 at 6:09 pm #75998ZenDenParticipant
Those questions are tough. And I apologize but I am particularly depressed tonight.
1.) I honestly do not know this question. It seems to be harder and harder for me to enjoy anything.
2.) I used to be able to talk to my friends four hours about a lot of things. Mostly video games, but also random theories and stuff. Now I’ve been on a “self improvement” bend for so long all I seem to talk about is areas of my life that need improvement. And the only person I really talk to is my brother.
3.) Honestly, if time, money, and stress were no issues I would move to a tropical location in central america, I would become a beach bum and learn to surf. Or I would go to Tibet and learn to be a Monk.
4.) Strangers do not complement me on anything. In the past I’ve been complemented by people I know on how nice I am, how much of a people person I am (read: “push over” in my mind), how smart I am (read: “people pleaser” to please parents and teachers), and my writing (English teachers being polite “they tell everyone that”).
5.) My Dad is miserable, he has worked the same desk job for 20 yrs and has hated it every single minute. He’s been miserable my whole life because of this. My mother is a nurse. I’ve thought about it but blood gets me queasy. She loves when people come into the E.R. with crowbars in their heads. Me, not so much.
As for finding what you like, it seems time that you have a pretty good idea of what it might be by reversing your hate list. If you need something more specific, consider doing a but of research through the net and find something that matches your skills and appeals to your passion.
I’ve always had this fanciful idea of starting my own business someday, becoming an entrepreneur. I have no means to do this though. First off, I have no ideas on what to start (I am out of touch with who I am is the issue I think). And I have no wealthy family members or friends and my net worth is many thousands of dollars in the red.May 3, 2015 at 12:16 pm #76078AnnieParticipant
Remember: knowing what you don’t want is part of working towards what you do. As Yue said, reverse want you don’t want. So..
I don’t like the boring repetitive meaningless tasks.= I want to do something where every day is different.
I hate that I have no input in what I do throughout the day. I just do tasks for the corporate machine.= I want to have the freedom to work independently (this could be by being your own boss).
I hate that the only way “up” is climbing the career ladder into higher positions which demand different but equally meaningless tasks for keeping the company profitable. = I don’t want to work for a corporation. = I want to work for a small business or a not-for-profit.
I hate that I have no control over my advancement in the field. I just have to wait until they promote me on a schedule. I have to wait until they decide to train me for something new. No amount of ambition or desire to learn gets me anywhere (outside of getting my masters degree).= I want control over my career.
Being a people person is important, as is being able to write well and being “smart”. Try to take these things as well-intentioned compliments – I know that can be hard to do when you feel like crap.
Clearly from your dad’s experience you don’t want to work in an office – you want to be out there, doing something. You say you’ve thought about being a nurse – why? What was it that attracted you? The people focus? The helping people?
You say all you really talk about is trying to improve yourself – how about imparting some of that knowledge? Become a life coach or a counsellor/therapist. Most therapists and coaches (particularly if they work from home) set their own hours and have total control over their lives. If they want to get better they either coach more or do courses/read up on psychology and new developments. Maybe going to Tibet wouldn’t be such a bad idea – really get in touch with yourself.
Other jobs that help people and have some people focus, as well as control over yourself, include plumbers, carers, shop owners and all sorts of others. The most important thing you’ve got to do is be prepared to jump. Jump from that job and just do SOMETHING else. Anything. Work in a bar and show interest in how it all works and try and work your way up to management. Get a job as an administrator in a company whose sector interests you (a publishers say, or a newspaper). Talk to people and ask them about their jobs in the organisation, and the process of creating a book. By all accounts you’re a ‘people person’ who’s ‘smart’ – use that. You might find something that really interests you. You might not. Cross it off the list – you tried it.
Oh and that tropical island dream? She’s way ahead of you http://www.cosmopolitan.com/lifestyle/a39772/why-i-gave-up-a-95k-job-to-move-to-an-island/
Good luck! Be brave – try not to get held back by what’s expected of you. I did, and I’m now putting that right. You can too. 🙂May 3, 2015 at 11:39 pm #76107MichelleParticipant
Why do you need a “career” as such? I get the student loans are a pain in the ass, but maybe do the trip thing, get a job as a bartender or something. Don’t be afraid to make change because you feel obliged to stick to a certain path.
Yep, maybe business school was a waste, might be hard to accept, but once you do and focus on where you want to go, not what’s holding you back, there might some indication of where that is. Even if you have to stick it out for another 6 months – a year to save some money – you have a goal in mind, something actionable, rather than the constant wondering you might feel better.May 6, 2015 at 8:35 am #76232LauraParticipant
As soon as I started reading your post I was thinking you should start your own business as it is the reverse of the things you hate about your current job. But that is obviously a huge risk. On the plus side, you have a business degree so you hopefully have some of the knowledge to assist with this if it was an option…. perhaps starting a not-for-profit that could incorporate your interests in travelling & outdoor activities? Adventure trips abroad for under privileged kids for example…..? 🙂
Are there any positives you can take from your current job? Any skills you have learnt or things you have found you’re particularly good at? Maybe these could be a jumping off point for a new direction…? There are always transferable skills to take onward with you – you just have to look for them and re-frame them.
I agree with Michelle14 – you should definitely base this on some kind of time frame and give yourself at least 6 months to save money in your current job before escaping. I left a career I hated on the spur of the moment because I had reached boiling point and couldn’t take it any more – but now I wish I had thought it through better as I was getting a very good salary at the time & did not plan my exit so did not save anything which made the next few months very difficult financially as I was also in debt.
However – I did jump and it was a scary time BUT it was the best thing I ever did. I totally changed direction in my career and because of that I had to start from the bottom of a new profession on a very small salary and retrain all over again which has taken me 5 years to complete. BUT it was completely worth it, I am now so happy in my career, I know it is the right fit for me and people are in disbelief when they find out what I used to do! 🙂 There are times in my day where I find myself thinking “I can’t believe I get paid to do this!” and I hope one day you can say the same with a big smile on your face! Good luck xxx