March 6, 2014 at 2:19 am #52368
I have a choice, do I continue to live in the fear, anger and loneliness and pain that I have come to know over the past 11 years or do I choose to make the changes? whatever they may be to better my life and feel peace, hope, happiness etc. Do I want to lose anymore than I have already lost? NO.
This website and it’s content ( all of which i have not discovered yet) is my latest divine intervention.
11 years ago I discovered that all throughout my childhood and adolescence that I had been abused in all forms and multiple times and multiple abusers. This all was presented in the form of flashbacks, night terrors etc.over this same period. Of course my first thought was that i was psychotic or something more.
I have battled with being labeled, chronic suicidality, ptsd, hospitalizations and many more. No one thus far has been able to figure out just how I survived it all. Divine intervention has stopped each time i have attempted to end it all.
While lying in my bed yesterday and waiting for the time to come, I decided to google inner peace, I clicked on this website and after reading through many things and this website is loaded I sighed up. I have to say that as powerful as what my thoughts may have been yesterday, they are there, I think I may have found great hope here.
I cannot change the past, i can only learn how to accept, forgive and discover who I really an now and how this all has changed my life. Although the memories will not diminish the pain can with time. And since up till now no profesional has been been able to give me what is missing ,I chose yesterday to do it alone and will continue to do so, because who knows me better than me.
The individuals from my past have no control over me, it is just my mind set. I have no control over what has already happened or what will happen but I do have choice’s and those must remain positive to help become who I really am. The journey will be long and it will be tough but I am already changing things I have control over. I have control over my thoughts and behaviour but not over others.
I am determined to win my life back.
I don’t believe going into great detail will help that may be a trigger for some, I have said what needs to be said.
Thank-You Tiny Budda
markMarch 6, 2014 at 10:45 am #52384beloveParticipant
I am so happy for you. You’ve found your inner strength. You’ve had glimpses of inner peace. You’ve made up your mind toward healing and peace. Things can only be better from now. Yes, there will be moments or days when we all will stumble and have a step backward, but as long as we keep going and make more steps forwards, we will be alright. I’ve been there and I can related to all that you are saying. It’s an ongoing journey to find contentment and embrace life for what it truly has to offer. You will start to see the beauty in all things around you. This is a beautiful journey. I am so glad to see you on board. Namaste!
Be Love itself!March 6, 2014 at 11:44 am #52394MarkParticipant
Thank you for posting something so positive and inspirational!
MarkMarch 6, 2014 at 12:15 pm #52399
Thank-You belove, very comforting and encouraging. Yes things can and will look different than i ever knew. some of it may be a bit scary but that is just the fear of the unknown. I want to feel the inner peace and strength i will need for this journey that I have decided to do on my own, I think it happening as I write and every moment there after will be building on my strengths and new beliefs and most importantly building on a future I did believe I had. This will be very hard work but someone told me I’m worth it.March 6, 2014 at 12:18 pm #52400
Thank-You for being there.