October 9, 2013 at 12:10 pm #43535donnie6Participant
Ive posted on this forum a couple of months ago under the heading “feel like ive never existed”. Now its been eight months since my world was turned upside down by my wife leaving me. As ive struggled to keep my emotions from spilling over and losing the plot ive come to a point were after all this time im still hurting as much as i did at the begining. She has said so many lies about me and she has petioned the divorce under unresonable behaviour even though she commited adultry. I know people say there are two sides to every story but hand on heart i was the best i could be in the relationship and did everything for her. I was kind, loving, respectful, supportive, basically i dedicated my life to her. Two weeks after she left our home she was shacked up with that bloke and if she was as unhappy as what she said she was surly she wouldnt jump into a relationship straight away. I was with her for 15 years and we rarely argued and people always commented on what a nice couple we were. Im just shocked how people can change so quick. Sorry to ramble.
Really helpful site.October 9, 2013 at 1:47 pm #43538Marcos BarrosParticipant
I am going through the same situation as yours. You know, I am 1 year away from my ex wife who cheated on me with her boss. She was abducted from my life since the discovery of all of the happening and I must say that it is not easy to let it go. But as time goes I can say that I see that this was the best that could have happened. The hurt feelings still exist and probably they will forever. But they are much lighter and I can now deal better with it. The reason that makes people behave like that are unknown. I can say one thing: do not blame yourself for that. The person that suffers the most at the end is the one who cheated. Even though she might appear happy to your eyes it is impossible to a human being not to be feeling bad by doing crap things to someone who devoted his life to her. That was my case too. I never was a perfect husband and I will never be, because it is not human to be perfect. But, I did my best. She could not like me anymore, but the fact that she did things on my back was what made me feel so bad. I am under medication nowadays, because I was shocked and I could not live normally. But now I feel that the feelings have transformed. In my opinion it seems like you have never moved forward to a different situation in your life. I have now a new and lovely girlfriend who loves me and is linked to me much deeper than my ex. So keep going….push up to your beliefs. Have fun in your life and change your perspective.
MarcosOctober 10, 2013 at 2:07 am #43563AnneParticipant
Donnie, I feel compelled to reply to your post. I don’t know if this will help but I too was ‘dumped’ very suddenly and brutally yes, sounds dramatic, but that’s how it felt) 8 months ago too. And this morning I was still beating myself up over the fact that I am still suffering because of it as badly as the night it happened. The only thing I can say that I have learned though, is this. All I wanted was to be over it.. over him..and the fact that 8 months on I am not, is because I have never allowed myself to honor the love I had for him because I have been so very angry and bitter.. that I know he is off having fun, forming new relationships while I am still mourning his loss and believing that it is because I am unworthy, not good enough, and unlovable that I am single and broken hearted. So only recently did I actually allow myself to admit I still loved him, that I wanted him back… and I then came to the realization that I was pouring every single ounce of my sense of self worth into him wanting me. Yes it boils down to this. My head knows this is not true.. my heart has still a bit to go to receive this message and take it in… but I felt compelled to respond to your post because you are in the same place as me and for my part I found it reassuring that I am not alone.. I really wish you well on this journey. Despite my pain, I do know on some level that it wasn’t a reflection of my worth as a human being.. that he was coming from a place that cannot love and that too is a painful place..
Much peace, and strength,