Driving at 21

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This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 3 months ago by Dale Shubrook.

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August 8, 2013 at 9:39 am #39970

Kristen
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Hi, this is going to sound so lame, but bear with me.

I’m twenty-one and a sophomore in college this fall, and I can’t drive. It may sound silly but it’s driving me crazy. I’ve tried to drive before, went to take the test and failed miserably and now I’m absolutely terrified to try again. Occasionally I’ll drive one of my parents around, but I literally get the shakes. As sad as my life sounds since I don’t have a job yet either, this has to be what’s bothering me the most, especially since I have younger brothers who will probably get their licenses before me and it’s making me miserable.

How do I get over this?

August 8, 2013 at 10:39 am #39979

Jade
Participant

Hi Kristen,

You’re not alone in this issue! I have quite a few friends who found learning to drive to be extremely stressful and difficult and didn’t manage to get their licences until they were 30 or older. Apparently driving anxiety is something that is especially found in intelligent people, so don’t think too badly of yourself. I’d suggest starting back at the basics, find an empty parking lot or any place similarly low pressure and traffic, get used to sitting behind the wheel and take deep breaths as you move the car around slowly. Practice and take your time, don’t compare yourself to your younger siblings, you have to do this at a pace that feels right to you. 🙂

August 8, 2013 at 2:32 pm #40002

Kristen
Participant

Thank you so much! I’ll do just that :3.

August 8, 2013 at 6:02 pm #40008

Susan
Participant

Kristen,
Don’t be down on yourself….You obviously You are not really ready to drive….I suggest you check into some private professional driving lessons..so that you will feel confident enough to drive…I had an 18 year old daughter that did not want to drive…she was not ready, nor was she confident in her driving. Sadly she was killed in a car accident just 5 months after she got her license…I have wished a thousand time I had suggested to her what I suggested to you….If you are confident in your ability to drive well…you will do well….prepare yourself….
Sincerely, Susan

August 9, 2013 at 11:20 am #40060

Kristen
Participant

Susan,

I’m really sorry to hear that! Thank you for the advice and the story you shared <3 I won’t rush myself.

August 9, 2013 at 5:32 pm #40091
SV
Participant
I was 21 when I was sophomore in college too. I also didn’t start learning to drive until this year, and only got my license in June. (I’m 23 right now.) It’s ok. A lot of people don’t drive. I learned to drive later in the game because I spent my teens in London, England, where the public transportation’s so amazing even successful 40 year olds I knew didn’t drive. I was also quite afraid so kept delaying it. It’s a lot more common than you think. x
- This reply was modified 11 years, 3 months ago by SV.
August 12, 2013 at 2:18 am #40249

Dale Shubrook
Participant

Kristen,

I was one in the same boat. I had major issues relating to previous experiences within cars and therefore developed a phobia for driving. I felt like driving was one of the most judgmental things possible and that those all around me sniggered behind my back because i couldn’t drive. I put off learning, I always used the excuse that I didn’t have the time or it was pointless as i wouldn’t be buying a car anyway.

I don’t have a remedy for you unfortunately but what i can say is everybody’s different, all of us on this thread could supply you with a solution and some may work better than others, what you need to grasp is its your mind that is stopping you and it will be your mind that will get you started again. One of these solutions may work perfectly – if your mind lets it. What you need to stop doing as I have been and still am guilty of is CARING – as strange as it sounds. I cared so much about what everybody else was thinking, saying, doing. I compare my life to others all the time as you sound like you are with your brothers, i hated the fact all my friends could drive and i couldn’t, i felt useless.

About 6 months ago I really did let it all get to me and i really just had no answers, i actually started reading these sites and took in some of the knowledge and wisdom and have been trying ever since to stop caring so much and to just do everything i want to do. The first thing was driving, you may find it easier or worse but i dedicated a week towards it – i paid for a intensive week and explained openly to the instructor i was very nervous. What worked for me all week was my thoughts – or lack of them. When i went driving, i thought about driving, i didn’t bring anything else with me to the car, no thoughts about what others would think, i didn’t bring thoughts of doubt into the car, i purely concentrated on driving and learning and improving. Friday came and I had no nerves which i found odd, i sat my test and passed first time with one minor. That was 3 months ago and I was 22 when i passed, I’m no longer afraid of the judgement i will receive from people when i state that and i hope your the same.

If there is one thing i would suggest it would be to grasp your chances now, don’t wait until tomorrow because tomorrow never comes. I put things off and missed out, not anymore!

Hope this helps, I’ve scouted this website for months but have created an account because you sound just like me, like i said i have no remedy but i always feel listening to others can help me create my own solution.

Let us know WHEN you pass..

Dale
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