I need some advice regarding how to communicate ones emotions effectively. I hope someone here can help me.

My boyfriend and I (3 years) are having great difficulties at the moment and I need to find a way to express how I am feeling in an effective way. We have been fighting on and off for two months now and I don’t seem to be able to communicate properly as he always gets angry and the fight continues. We have been in a LDR but will finally live together in a month and I’m afraid if we don’t resolve some of these issues, we are doomed.

What I want to say is:

1. The way he shouts at me , and doesn’t let me speak, when he is angry hurts and concerns me deeply. I feel he has no respect for me. I will not accept anyone speaking to me like this. This is a recent thing, as he has never spoken to me like this before.

2. Not letting go of the past- he continues to throw up issues of past wrongs , even though we had discussed them and I apologized. He once told me that this is his way of ensuring it doesn’t happen again , which infuriates me (I am not a child!).

3. This one is a little more difficult as I know it is bound-up with my own trust issues and insecurities- I would love if he planned things for us to do alone/made us having special time, a priority. He doesn’t and often joins other people/groups to plans I have made for the two of us.

These are 3 things I want so badly to be able to communicate to him. The first two I think I consider “non-negotiable’s” and the third is more of a “luxury” I guess.

I don’t want to scuffle things between us at the proverbial “last hurdle” of our LDR, but something tells me I need to have this conversation before we move in with each other.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much.