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Euthanized dog, extreme guilt

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  • #401052
    Sad
    Participant

    Hi,

    well today we had to euthanize our dog. It was very hard and sad as it is and I already miss him so much. But now I can’t stop replaying everything wrong or bad I ever did in his life. Yelled at him, the time I pulled his leash up when he was going nuts at another dog cause I was so frustrated. And a few other things pop into my mind that I don’t even want to share yet. I feel like the worst person on this earth. I loved him so so much and I really hope he knows that. For the record I have very bad ocd which leads to depression, and right now this non stop loop of everything I did wrong by him is definitely making me depressed. I just want to be able to think of him with out feeling this way. It makes me feel like I’m a terrible person, and also that I don’t even deserve the current job I have (veterinary assistant) since there were times I wasn’t the best with my own dog. I feel awful

    #401077
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Sad:

    I am sorry for your loss. Feeling guilt for putting a dog down is very common, and I imagine it’s worse when you suffer from OCD. I want to reply to you further in abouto 11 hours from now, but for now, there are a few website on the topic, one is rainbows bridge. com/ grief support center/ making the decision to put down your beloved pet. 

    You can check out grief recovery method. com/ pet loss support groups.

    anita

    #401096
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Sad:

    I can’t stop replaying everything wrong or bad I ever did in his life. Yelled at him, the time I pulled his leash up when he was going nuts at another dog… a few other things pop into my mind that I don’t even want to share yet… It makes me feel like I’m a terrible person, and also that I don’t deserve the current job I have (veterinary assistant) since there were times I wasn’t the best with my own dog” –

    -No one is always the best with anyone, pet or human.

    We have to forgive ourselves for being imperfect because we don’t have the option of being perfect, no matter how hard and how long we try.

    Feeling guilty for being imperfect will not make you perfect; invalid guilt causes a lot of distress- which leads to poor choices… and therefore, more imperfection.

    Accepting your imperf nature while improving your behavior is the way to go.

    You yelled at your dog at one time or another and you feel guilty for it. Depending on the circumstances, yelling at him could have been the right thing to do. For examples: if your dog was running toward a busy street, yelling at him could get his attention and save his life.

    Let’s say you yelled at him because he wanted your attention while you were in a rush to go someplace- I can’t see this yelling being a good thing for your dog. What can you do about it now? Make a mental note to yourself: never unecessarily yell at a dog!

    If you put this mental note into practice, other dogs can benefit from what you learned.

    good answers. net/ Is yelling at your dog abuse?: “Emotional dog abuse is yelling, screaming or shouting forcefully at a dog when the situation doesn’t call for it. Effective behavioral training may involve firmly bellowing, “No!” when the dog is behaving poorly, but if there is no bad behavior going on, the owner should not be trying to intimidate the dog” – it says that yelling at a dog is abusive when the situation doesn’t call for it, meaning that there are situations that call for it.

    Continued: “However, experts have revealed that shouting at your dog can actually do more harm then good when trying to teach your pup to be well behaved. In fact, not only is it likely to make them naughtier, it can even lead to even stress and depression…

    Most dogs understand only a few words. They pay more attention to the tone and pitch of your voice. Yelling at your dog is more likely to confuse her and cause her to react in a hyper or aggressive way because she’s trying to match your behavior. A classic example of this is when you yell at your dog to stop barking

    Yelling with an intent to frighten, and there is no other reason for it, is abuse. There is no way the dog can understand what he is doing that causes the yelling” – intent is mentioned here: let’s say that without being aware of it, the volume of your voice just happened to go up- no intent. You notice it, and bring your volume down, correcting the situation. This is an example of human imperfection, the unavoidable kind.

    I boldfaced the above for anyone who may be reading your thread, so to promote not yelling at dogs (or humans) unecessarily! So you see, by starting this thread, you may be helping dogs you don’t even know!

    anita

     

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