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Excess sexual energy

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  • April 18, 2014 at 10:25 pm #55004
    Whaaaaat
    Participant

    I’m not sure if I’m posting this in the correct forum category, but here goes.
    A little background: I think I’ve always had a lot of suppressed sexual energy. I *ahem* masterb8 (yes, I had to type it that way. Hush.) maybe a couple times every three weeks, but I feel urges more than that (I often feel guilty afterwards too). When I try to actually imagine me actually doing sexual things with someone(in a hypothetical real life situation), I get grossed out at the thought (possibly in part due to me having an unhealthy past relationship…?)

    My question:
    My friend told me that every time she spends the night at my house or I spend at hers (even if I’m not in the same room), she has sex dreams of me. I’m not attracted to her in real-life or even in my dreams. She thinks it might be because of my sexual energy influencing her dreams. Do I have excess sexual energy? If so, how can I balance out my energy?

    April 20, 2014 at 6:09 am #55033
    @Jasmine-3
    Participant

    Dear Whaaaaat

    I would think that your friend would need her energy to be balanced if she is having your dreams and not the other way around 🙂

    Pls continue to enjoy your life and do not look for ways to make a normal experience into a pathology. You are a human and you can have as much and / or as low sexual energy as you want as long as it is not creating issues with your activities of daily living and you are able to function optimally in your various roles.

    Cheers,

    J

    April 22, 2014 at 2:16 am #55170
    Will
    Participant

    Your excess sexual energy is influencing her dreams?

    Whaaaaat?!

    I really don’t think that’s what’s going on. Her dreams are about what’s going on with her, and are influenced by her experiences and thoughts. That’s nothing to do with your sexual energy. Don’t let her put that on you.

    So, you Mterb8 “a couple of times every three weeks”, and you think that’s excess sexual energy? It really doesn’t seem that much to me. But anyway, even if you did Mterb8 often, say twice a day, what would be wrong with that? What is this guilt you feel about? What do you think is the harm in this activity?

    It seems like your unhealthy previous relationship has left your feelings about sex in a bit of a muddle. Or maybe it was your upbringing or something else. But I think your focus shouldn’t be on “balancing your energy” (that is, being less sexuayl) but on accepting yourself as a full and rounded human being who has sexual feelings as well as everything else that’s common to humanity. Unpack this guilt you feel, what’s that all about? Why feel guilty about something so natural?

    • This reply was modified 10 years, 8 months ago by Will.
    April 25, 2014 at 4:12 pm #55386
    leeza donatella
    Participant

    Dear Whaaaaat:

    I tend to agree with the others that said that if your friend is dreaming about you, that is on them and not you.
    Secondly and most importantly, pleasing oneself whether you are with a partner or not is perfectly normal. Based on the frequency that you describe, it is certainly not excessive by any means. Never feel guilty though or beat yourself up for having natural urges as you embrace your sensuality and inner goddess.

    Blessings,
    LeeZa Donatella

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