Dear Adriene,

My personal recommendation would be to take up mindfulness meditation and use it as kind of a physical therapy for your brain. Allow me to elaborate…

Our brains, just like our bodies, adjust to our lifestyle. If you lift heavy things every day, you’ll develop more muscle mass. We can understand this, because we see the results. We can’t see how our brains develop, but there is some evidence now that our brains continue to develop throughout our lives. If a person starts to practice juggling, the parts of their brain responsible for the skills needed to be able to juggle will grow. There is some evidence that mindfulness meditation can help develop the parts of the brain responsible for our emotions and so on. As you can see, I’m not an expert, nor am I a doctor, so I don’t have the right medical terms to use here.

Nobody consciously chooses an anxious mind, a bad back or a poor fitness level. They can develop over time, as we make small choices here and there to try to avoid pain and seek an easier way to live. Years of riding the elevator instead of taking the stairs will leave a person out of breath when they finally do try to take the stairs. That doesn’t mean that they wouldn’t be able to adapt again to a new lifestyle of taking the stairs instead of the elevator. It also doesn’t mean that one should have to take the stairs to develop cardiovascular health in order to be able to take the stairs. One can start out slowly with a stationary bike. It has the same affect on the fitness level. Similarly, if the brain is anxious, then start to train the brain slowly with gentle mindfulness exercises. Of course it will be difficult at first, because it’s foreign for the brain. It’s like going to the gym and trying to lift something really heavy for the first time. So be gentle and don’t jump into any conclusions too fast.

Training over time makes things easier and changes are starting to occur. Our bodies do not adapt overnight to a new regime, and nobody can become a completely different person in a short amount of time. But it is possible to actually physically change the structure of your brain by using it differently.

Like I said, I’m not a doctor, but there are other people who have studied this. Here’s one study: http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/article.aspx?articleID=168746

And my favorite book on the subject: http://www.amazon.com/Buddhas-Brain-Practical-Neuroscience-Happiness/dp/1572246952

Please don’t despair. There is hope 🙂

Scientifically speaking, meditation quiets your mind and brings it to a temporary state of normalcy. Regular meditation can actually repair the neural pathways that lead to the anxiety. Cutting it off at it’s source. I know first hand. I tried therapy, exercise, and medication. Fortunately I was able to pratice meditation with monks (you can use guided meditation on YouTube). I know for a fact it works!

I would also like to recommend possitive affirmations to boost your confidence and make you feel better. There is a video on youtube by paul santisi called “I am”. You are bombarded by possitive affirmations. When you are feeling uneasy with anxiety tell yourself you are calm, confident, relaxed, and full of love. Even if you don’t feel it at the time. Once that starts to calm you down, you can start meditation. With practice you will need to keep it up daily. This will keep you out of the quicksand (because that is what it feels like).

Many buddhist practitioners will also recommend embracing your fears and anxieties. Love them with compassion, but don’t let them define you. When they arrise, treat them tenderly like a mother treats her child when it is crying. This will lessen the suffering out of the whole experience. You are more than your emotions, worries, fears, and anxieties. Let them make you stronger and know you can not know happiness without suffering.

Keep us posted 🙂

Thank you both for the YouTube recommendations. I think I’ll check them out as well!

Adriene, naturally you need to stick with it. You know that. It’s like diet or exercise. Going to the gym sporadically will not give you results. I got help for my impatience and self-sabotage issues from this concept: http://outerchild.net I took control over the voice that was constantly saying that I can’t or that it’s too hard. Being patient and having self-control can also be learned through practice.