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Feel Life Is Passing Me By

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  • #364446
    Tiffany
    Participant

    Hi. I’m sure everyone is kind of feeling this way during the pandemic (or at least everyone in America since we still have so many cases), but I feel like my life is passing me by, like I’m wasting every day. I try to go on a walk or do some kind of exercise every day. I’ve tried mindfulness and practicing gratitude. I’ve done some Zoom meetups with friends and relatives, and I’ve even done some socially distant volunteering, but nothing seems to work.

    I guess even before the pandemic I was feeling like my life doesn’t have purpose. My job isn’t fulfilling, but it pays well and I get to work from home, so I don’t want to give it up. My husband and I move around a lot, so I am never near friends and can’t make any real new friends.

    I do have a goal in life (moving to New Orleans and settling down), but I can’t work toward it during the pandemic.

    Please don’t suggest having kids or finding religion, because I’m 38 years old and know that I can’t talk myself into either.

    #364465
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tiffany:

    I would definitely not suggest to you or to anyone to have children so to find a purpose in life, or fulfillment, and I will not suggest to bring a child during a pandemic!

    Before the pandemic you felt like your life didn’t have purpose, but you did have a goal: to move to New Orleans and settle down. Can you tell me more about this goal, and about your life otherwise, before the pandemic?

    anita

     

    #364467
    Tiffany
    Participant

    Hi, Anita. Well, it’s a long story, but we moved to Pensacola just before the pandemic started. So I didn’t have much time to explore the area or make friends here. I do enjoy outdoor activities here like hiking, canoeing, and swimming.

    I want to move to New Orleans because I love it and feel like it is my true home. I only lived there for a year in 2015-2016, but I have visited many times. The only things stopping us from moving there now are the pandemic and not having enough money, but I think we will have enough money in the next couple of years. I am hoping that once I get there, I can create a cozy home, make some friends, be part of the community, volunteer, and enjoy the culture. I think I’ll be pretty happy there. I’m just impatient to get there. I feel like my real life hasn’t started yet.

    #364470
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tiffany:

    I lived in New Orleans before the hurricane, close to the French Quarters, it was a special time, but I moved away before the summer, fearing the combination of the heat and humidity. But the humidity in Pensacola is higher today, at least (70%) than in it is in New Orleans (55%, today. I suppose the humidity doesn’t bother you much?

    (I  live in the Pacific Northwest, lowest temperature and humidity combination that I could find, outside very expensive and limited areas in Southern California).

    I am curious to know what about New Orleans makes it your “true home”.

    anita

    #364564
    Tiffany
    Participant

    I don’t mind the humidity. I just love New Orleans. The music, the architecture, parades, the food, the friendly people. It’s where I want to be.

    #364572
    anita
    Participant

    Dear Tiffany:

    When we don’t have the life we want available, we have to make do with the life that is available to us. In these pandemic times, “music.. parades, the food, the friendly people” are not available, and if available, we shouldn’t participate in any non socially distant activities. The life available to you at this time is that walk you mentioned, exercise, you can add the (socially distant) hiking, canoeing, and swimming that you like, also the mindfulness, some Zoom meetups with friends, and your paid job from home. And your husband, he is too part of the life available to you. Change your attitude regarding the life that is available to you. Don’t compare it to how it was for you in New Orleans 2015-16 and during visits.

    I had the best time in my life in New York City- I was young, full of hope, a new life, new place, unlike anything I knew before. I felt that it was my New Beginning. And it was until I brought my old troubles to NYC. To escape the troubles, I flew next to New Orleans… Fast forward, I was back in NYC, years later, and I couldn’t believe it was the same place I fell so in love with earlier, when I was  younger.

    I realized then, that what gives a place its magic is not  so much what the place offers, but the youth experienced in that place, the hopes and dreams that give the place its colors, its light, its magic.

    Awaken your youth where you are, in Pensacola, and you will no longer feel that life is passing you by.

    anita

    • This reply was modified 1 month, 1 week ago by anita.
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