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Feel like i dont deserve to feel good about myself

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Viewing 7 posts - 1 through 7 (of 7 total)
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  • February 23, 2016 at 8:14 pm #96991
    Darcy
    Participant

    I am always working on my self esteem. Here lately I have been making some progress. The problem I have been running king into is that I will start feeling good about myself and two things happen. 1. I get scared and anxious. 2. I feel like I am doing something wrong. I am feeling guilty for feeling good. I am afraid I will fail at feeling good so I just feel myself that I am more comfortable feeling bad. I also am afraid that if I start feeling good I won’t have anything to focus on anymore. I feel so self centered. Thoughts ??

    February 23, 2016 at 8:29 pm #96996
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Darcy:

    Are you afraid that if you feel good you will not be prepared for the bad things that may happen any time so you have to keep watchful, prepared…?

    Will be back at the computer tomorrow.

    anita

    February 23, 2016 at 11:15 pm #97025
    Anonymous
    Inactive

    Darcy,

    Working on self esteem is never a bad thing, it’s a great thing. Most of us women are working on keeping a good self esteem balanced and comfortable for us. You are not alone in this task. No need to be scared that you are doing something wrong because when you are happy, that means you are actually doing something right because you are loving yourself. That’s a beautiful thing! No need to feel guilty about doing what makes you happy and loved. We may sometimes fail at certain things or tasks when it comes to working on ourselves but we can always hit the refresh button, meditate by looking deep down inside to see what is really bothering us/making us unhappy and slowly work at it, at our own comfortable pace.

    Sending you positive vibes your way. 🙂

    M.

    February 24, 2016 at 2:38 am #97035
    Matty
    Participant

    Howdy Darcy,

    Don’t feel that you have to pressure yourself into feeling good about yourself. being happy with yourself shouldn’t be an effort, but a reflective and peaceful experience. DO you feel guilty because you identify with something/ someone that you feel is ‘wrong’ or ‘taboo’? When it comes to your own happiness, it’s your right to be selfish, it’s your life (as long as your not stepping on toes to achieve such a thing). You must be measuring your ‘guiltiness’ to something, what is it? What makes you go from feeling guilty to feeling not guilty? We feel guilty when we are doing something wrong, but the act of being happy doesn’t make you guilty. Is your happiness hurting someone else? Or is it affecting another in a negative way?

    Everyday brings a new challenge, some days are harder than others, so don’t feel that you have to be great every single day.

    I also am afraid that if I start feeling good I won’t have anything to focus on anymore

    Well, once you complete one goal, set another one. There is nothing to stop you from focusing on something else. If anything, your new goal could be ‘to maintain this feeling’.

    Hope this helped,
    Sincerely,
    Matty

    February 24, 2016 at 4:26 am #97037
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Darcy,

    When I feel good about myself I always think that I am cheating! LOL!

    Not to get all Freud and blame everything on your childhood ~ but for mine it seemed like feeling good was almost taboo. I saw one teacher ask a kid, “What are YOU so happy about!?” Anyway, that was the prevailing attitude. Unless you have you have your own glossy magazine you don’t deserve to feel good.

    So view Feeling Good as an act of rebellion or insurrection! Feels Good!! 😉

    Good Luck!

    Inky

    February 24, 2016 at 7:44 pm #97140
    Darcy
    Participant

    Thanks everyone. I think a lot of it has to do with the past. My dad was abusive. I remember one time he kicked me because I was laughing and having fun with my grandmother. I will keep plugging along !

    February 24, 2016 at 7:48 pm #97146
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Darcy:

    You are welcome. When you are happy, you wrote in your original post, you get anxious… just like when you were happy having fun with your grandmother and your father kicked you. So you associated being happy with danger…that would be understandable. It will take healing to weaken that association and be able to feel happy without feeling fearful.

    anita

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