Hello Anita

I am mildly amused, confused and overwhelmed after my counselling session.

We spoke about short term strategies, however the one my therapist mentioned was seeing me two times a week instead of one. I was really surprised by the suggestion. She explained it might help me feel more supported whilst I go through a challenging time.

I don’t know how to feel. I told her that I wanted more direction. I didn’t want to just talk because I feel like it makes me over think. I asked about homeworks or other strategies she can guide me with but she said she is happy to discuss any that I think might be useful but won’t prescribe anything as different people like different things.

She’s trying I know she is. My worries about two sessions is that it will make everything go at an even higher pace rather than helpmanage emotions. She suggests that it might or it might help me if I had an opportunity to have a safe place to experience my emotions more than once a week.

My concern is with my history her method of therapy won’t work for me. I expressed this go her. I also said the more we go on the more I am aware of all my issues and feel hopeless.

She suggested two sessions is an offer for me to think about and to not rush the decision.. or maybe I would prefer a telephone call or email exchange. There’s ways we can work around it.

I just don’t know. She’s trying her best but I don’t know if I can go on with this, 2 sessions sounds like a huge risk. It could either work really well or rra badly. I don’t know. What do you think?

Dear Anita,

Sorry I didn’t make it clear, I guess my brain is still quite fuzzy from the session. I said to her that the type of practical/ short term solutions I had in mind were things such as homework regarding how to think when thoughts overwhelm me or I get into an overthinking spiral, or practical things I can do to relieve anxiety.

She then said she doesn’t give out homework due to two reasons. One, she will not prescribe homework that alters how I think/ feel. And two, there is a subjective nature of what relaxation techniques works for different people, and she also said she thinks I am intelligent/ resourceful enough to find what works for me. She briefly mentioned yoga, meditation, running etc but then asked me what I do and have found helpful.

Hope this clarifies the homework bit.

Hi Anita,

Thanks for asking. The gist I got from her was that ordering thinking styles that are ‘healthier’ (much like CBT) is not her therapeutic style, never will be. She will never tell me what to think/feel for the purpose of putting a hold unto my emotions.

We didn’t focus on it for too long, I think because I am very aware of her therapeutic style and  understood what she meant. She will never do any kind of CBT with me, or things which temporarily shifts my thinking to make things easier. Her technique is very much ‘you need to feel your emotions, you have been supressing them for too long’.

I don’t know if I answered your question properly there but to help answer it more;  throughout our process, she guides my awareness of my thinking patterns and where they come from, and how else a situation might look, very lightly and gently. She would never say ‘You should not think in that way’ or ‘thinking in that way is the reason you feel worse’. Of course I hope no-one’s therapist would. But her style is very gentle and I guess is interested in uncovering  a lot of emotions, and talking through them. She mentioned in the session that although I am experiencing many emotions, therapy is supposed to help me verbalise what I feel, so I can feel better. I think it is through talking therapy sessions with her, but particularly feeling through emotions, that she expects me to be able to change how I think/feel.

Did I answer it in a way you understand there, Anita? I don’t know, Im a bit confused as to the difference between

‘meaning, she is not interested in propelling you forward toward altering the way you think/fee?’

and

‘Is she not interested in you changing the way you think/feel?’

So let me know if I am answering enough for you to be able to understand.

Again, thanks for talking this through with me. Its nice to talk with someone about therapy, that isn’t a therapist.

Hi  Anita

I have been thinking on and off for two days about whether I should accept my therapists offer with two sessions per week.

I just don’t know.

On the one hand I can see that my oversharing with friends might have been a symptom of me needing more assistance as feelings were spilling out too much.

However I take your point about correcting distorted thoughts. I believe that initially she did help to point out distorted thoughts, and this helped me with the first phase of the process, for example I now have better boundaries with people who were abusive and do not just mindlessly rely on co-dependent habits, though it is still hard.

However now I am feeling more emotions than ever, and the therapy process is coming closer to my core, I am unsure whether her insight is helpful anymore at guiding me through it and pointing out distorted thoughts.

I think I should try the two sessions a week and see if this will help.  It may be that the support I was getting in the beginning and was helpful is no longer enough as I get closer and closer to my main traumas and I need more guidance than one session.  It might not be her technique but the frequency for which I am supported by her.

Or it could be her technique and I will shortly find myself  unhappy with the process. If that happens I think it will be easier for me to make the decision to find a new therapist.

What do you think? Reasonable? I am still slightly nervous about being overwhelmed and perhaps two sessions a week making things go too fast, but I also feel a slight hope with this therapist that she might still be able to help me.