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Feeling hurt by my best friend

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  • #70116
    Tina
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    Hello,

    I was going through a lot of emotions a few weeks back (a friend passed away + insecurities about the future etc). I was at a really low place. Then, I had a best friend and I told her I just needed someone to talk to at night (cause I can’t stand being alone). But she would just leave. I got really hurt and angry. It took me a few weeks to confront her about it. Between those weeks, I was sort of ignoring her.
    Upon confrontation, she told me that she was sad that I was ignoring her and figured that I was angry. She said that was why she did not call me or ask me about me ignoring her, in order to give me some time-off to cool off. She apologized for not being sensitive to my feelings and said that she thought I was better when she decided to leave. So, everything was ok. At least that was what I thought.

    The next day she didn’t contact me at all. I got angry again as I told her I was going through a lot of things and that I needed her support, so when she didn’t even try to talk to me, I was hurt again. So I told myself nevermind, I’ll talk to her. So at night I asked her if she was ok about the night before and all and she would say that she was ok about it at first, but after I got annoyed, she told me that she doesn’t know what to say and that she said that she’s ok so that I would not need to worry about her. So I got pissed and said “and yeah, that helps”. After that no reply.

    I think it was two days later when she texted me asking if I’m feeling better. I said “i dont know, what else do you want me to say?”. No reply again.

    Next morning I texted her and said that I just want to talk and settle this cause it has been bothering me. So she told me the reason why she didn’t reply is that she felt that everything she said made me angry so she was very cautious and didn’t know how to reply to not piss me off again. So i apologized saying I shouldn’t have said what I said cause it was sarcastic and rude. Then she said she’s sorry too.

    Then I couldn’t remember whether it was right after that or how long later, I tried to start a conversation, AGAIN. I was feeling down at that time cause my high school close friends were all going through hard times too and it made me feel even more down. And because they were all dealing with their own problems, I told her that I need to talk to her cause she’s the only person I know that is not unhappy now and I need to run away for awhile. At that time she was outside. So when she came back she told me that she’s home already. I didn’t say anything and then she didn’t ask about what happened either. She just told me about some other random stuff and asked how I was gonna celebrate countdown. I got angry and hurt again. So I just replied shortly. After a few exchange of texts, she stopped replying. And that is when I felt like, it may be time that I actually realize how much she actually cared.

    Note that from the start of the WHOLE story till the end, she NEVER once called me to ask how was I. I was ALWAYS the one to start a conversation.

    Anywayz, I am very lost now. At time I felt like she was a very caring friend as there were some other things that she did before this where I felt like she truly cared. But then I would then remember the incidents these few weeks. I truly do not know what to do anymore.

    Do you guys think that I am over-reacting?

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