Home→Forums→Relationships→Feeling that something is off and suspicious,ADVICE!!
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alexa05.
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December 27, 2016 at 6:44 am #123675
alexa05ParticipantAbout a year and a half ago to two years ago, my boyfriend who is 36 asked me (28) to do him a favor and to please call a female ”friend” to give her an address (which I looked up and it happened to be of a lawyer as far as I can remember). He wanted ME to do it because the womans husband is violent,and jealous even of his own shadow,basically it seemed to me that this woman in in some sort of abusive or toxic relationship she has 2 children with this man, and supposedly this man has even been in jail in the past, so my bf wanted me to do him the favor of calling her, Just in case the husband picked up the phone out of rage, that way he would think I was just her friend, and would not put her in any danger,,, this man has called my boyfriend at midnight to tell him to not engage in conversations with his wife. and also smashed his wife’s computer for talking to much on Facebook.
So yesterday, after almost 2 years he mentions me this women AGAIN!! and the fact that now she is contacting him because she has ”suicidal” thoughts that she can handle it anymore because she is not happy, so he was emailing her back trying to talk her out of it,and told me that she is a long time friend and he is concerned of her doing something crazy or wanting to kill herself, But I don’t know what can possibly be going on here that after almost 2 years he mentions me this women again!!! I am very suspicious whether this can be a lover, an ex,What do you think can be happening?I don’t want to be played. gives me a weird vibe.
December 27, 2016 at 7:14 am #123678
NatallyieParticipantI don’t understand why she is calling him. But maybe they are good friends but she needs to talk to a professional. If he think she is in danger to herself, hr should report it to the proper authority.
There can be a chance he is lying. However this is only my opinion.
The question is how much you trust him?
December 27, 2016 at 8:49 am #123688
VeronicaParticipantIt is only you who knows your boyfriend very well. The issue here is not about the woman but your trust with your boyfriend. I don’t know the whole story but I think you should reflect this feeling suspicious. Did your boyfriend did something before that made you feel like this right now? Are you worried that she will steal your boyfriend? Why do you think you can be played? Is there instances that your bf made you feel that way?
December 27, 2016 at 7:43 pm #123763
Steve in VirginiaParticipantI just ended a relationship with a lady in Japan. At first it was nice, but then I started getting suspicious, that funny feeling something wasn’t right. Little things, that I couldn’t put my finger on that this girl was lying and cheating on me. Oh of course she denied it but I kept looking for those small signs that my sub-conscious was picking up, my inner spirit was telling me something….
Several months later she sent me a picture of Japanese flower arrangements, I could clearly see her reflection in the glass display case…along with another guy! I asked her about it and of course she did not know what I was talking about or who he was..she swears there was no one with her…. hmmmmm…Listen to those instincts..they will serve you well!
December 28, 2016 at 9:43 am #123799alexa05ParticipantI admit, I can be insecure, And I can get that fear feeling in my gut, is not precisely gut feeling, but fear! there two different things that perhaps feel the same,I feel this way right now because the first time I ever started to doubt or feel insecure in this Whole relationship with him is because of this same situation with this same woman,which happened 2 years ago, he mentioned me this women and needed me to do him the favor to call her to give her an address,because she was a”FRIEND” from sometime ago and that she was in an supposedly ”abusive” relationship and that her husband was dangerous (this was 2 years ago when we started our relationship) after that he did not mentioned her anymore until 3 days ago,and Again I got the same feeling,
Maybe I am just one of those persons that see ghosts where there aren’t any! if I see a business card I might think your up to something, if I see that you have 2 emails I might think your up to something bad!, that’s how I am!! I recognize it,now its not an excuse for this weird situation.
December 28, 2016 at 9:46 am #123801alexa05ParticipantYes, your are right, we have to listen to those instincts ,the problem is I don’t know how to tell when there trying to let me know something is wrong! Or maybe I do but I ignore it, I really don’t know.
December 28, 2016 at 7:11 pm #123842alexa05Participant@veronica111 I admit, I can be insecure, And I can get that fear feeling in my gut, is not precisely gut feeling, but fear! there two different things that perhaps feel the same,I feel this way right now because the first time I ever started to doubt or feel insecure in this Whole relationship with him is because of this same situation with this same woman,which happened 2 years ago, he mentioned me this women and needed me to do him the favor to call her to give her an address,because she was a”FRIEND” from sometime ago and that she was in an supposedly ”abusive” relationship and that her husband was dangerous (this was 2 years ago when we started our relationship) after that he did not mentioned her anymore until 3 days ago,and Again I got the same feeling,
Maybe I am just one of those persons that see ghosts where there aren’t any! if I see a business card I might think your up to something, if I see that you have 2 emails I might think your up to something bad!, that’s how I am!! I recognize it,now its not an excuse for this weird situation
December 29, 2016 at 9:15 pm #123974VeronicaParticipantI see. I completely understand you alexa, we always have that side of ours that is so frighten about something we can’t control. However, our response to it is what matters most. The only way to figure it out is to confront your boyfriend. And if it seems that there is totally something wrong, then you need to make a decision whether this kind of relationship is still worth fighting for. And if there is nothing wrong, I guess you need to work on with your insecurities.
We have that cliche sayings ” In love, there is no fear ”
I hope this advice could help you, alexa
January 8, 2017 at 7:29 pm #124893alexa05Participant@Veronica So I asked him again nicely and he said: ”she is just a friend that I know from long time ago and I know her family and so on”,, but honestly he seemed kind of reluctant to give me a good ol clear explanation, it just does not satisfy me , I asked’ why can she get help somewhere else in a special center facility or in a suicide hotline,psychiatrist etc and he is like” well she feels that since I am a doctor I can help her”. and then he comes with the BS that:”if I would be doing something shady I wouldn’t have told you anything about this in the first place” I’m just tired of not getting a decent explanation. I don’t understand what is the big deal with this whole thing,supposedly she does not have money to go to a psychologist or get some type of help and thereby she remains with her husband because he has money, she cannot maintain herself and she has not finished college yet, by the way this girl is 27, when in the world did he meet her when she was a teenager and he and adult? my bf is 37.the age gap is kinda weird.
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