I feel like I’ve been stuck in several areas of my live for some time now.

First of all there’s my work. I’m 28 and I graduated eight months ago and moved to a different city in my country for a really interesting job, which is finding vulnerabilities in websites and networks. This is the area in which I always wanted to work, so I’m really happy with my first job.

The problem is not so much my work, but how I am experiencing it. I feel like I’m always under scrutiny and observance of my bosses and colleagues. There is no indication whatsoever to think this, but it is a fundamental believe I am unable to shred off. Everytime I walk past someone, say something or present my work in whichever way, I feel like someone is judging me. It feels like I need to act and work flawlessly and always give a hundred percent to keep people from judging me badly. This results in me feeling totally stressed out and feeling tired all the time. When I look in the mirror I hardly recognize myself anymore, that’s how wary I look.

Also I don’t have any friends around here, and this makes me feel really isolated and lonely. I don’t know how I can fix this because I feel too tired to do much more than an occasional trip to the gym after work.

Deep in myself I know that making friends, having fun and relaxing are the more important things in life. Work doesn’t have to be more than a means for a solid paycheck. But somehow knowing this doesn’t change anything about how I act at work, and it’s completely draining all my energy. I do recognize these feelings of social anxiety from other areas in my life, but I don’t know how to go about to change this.

I’d like to change and join a sport group or go to a meditation centre and meet people, but I feel just so tired and tensed and unable to do anything. Do you recognize such a reaction to work? Do you have any tips whatsover? Thanks for any words of advice.

• This topic was modified 10 years ago by kristof.