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Feeling worthless

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  • #138903
    Kat
    Participant

    As a kid, I was always a good student. I wanted nothing more than to grow up and be good at a job and have a good life.

    I’ve never been one to know what my true passion is. So when I went to college I picked a career path that was known to offer employment opportunities. I took it basically because I wanted to work. I did well in my program, and when I graduated I was able to get a job. I’ve been told I’m very likeable, but when it comes to working, I don’t seem to do so well.

    No matter what I do, I seem to make mistakes. Though I am really really trying not to. I seem to become overwhelmed and disorganized because so much is happening at the same time. Things get lost in the shuffle and I end up missing important deadlines or things go out late or I make mistakes.

    I’m starting to feel worthless. As if I have nothing to offer. I’m not sure why I am even here. Lots of people have told me I’m great to work with, I’m friendly and very helpful. I come in on time and I am always willing to lend support in other areas if needed.

    All of my friends are having families (something I very much want too), and buying homes. And I am just scraping by. I’m trying to stay positive and work on myself, but I’m not sure what to do. I’ve been single for a while, and my last two relationships were not so great either (verbal & emotional abuse with one, and the other one cheated). I’m trying hard to pick myself up and keep trying.

    But as I was thinking about what my purpose was, I couldn’t seem to pin it down. I feel like I should just know what my purpose is and be amazing at it. Everyone has high expectations of me, and I feel I can’t meet them even though I desperately want to. I have the right intentions, but I seem to miss the mark.

    I feel lost 🙁

    #138913
    Peter Strong
    Participant

    The most important thing you can do is to learn how to meditate on those inner feelings of shame and worthlessness. Such emotions, beliefs and thoughts constitute what we call the ‘Little Self’ in Mindfulness Therapy and work. This Little Self becomes isolated and disconnected from our ‘True Self’ which is our innate capacity for limitless love, consciousness, compassion and joy; our Buddha mind. Your ‘job’, if you choose to follow the path of mindfulness, is to reunite the two, and this we do through mindfulness meditation. You learn to meditate on the emotions and thoughts, the Little Self, themselves. You will probably benefit in some guidance on how to meditate like this, but it is definitely worth learning. The product of this kind of meditation work is that you will become more grounded in your True Self (boddhicitta) as you learn to love your Little Self. Hope that makes sense?

    The Boulder Center for Online Mindfulness Therapy

    #138927
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Kat:

    It might be the wrong job for you: too many things happening at the same time. It requires someone good at multi-tasking, and not everyone is. A fitting job for you may be one where just one thing happens at any one time.

    It doesn’t make sense to conclude, based on your difficulty with multitasking, that you are worthless, it is just that there is no FIT between you and the job.

    And there hasn’t been a fit yet with a man in your life, not in the last two relationships at the least. A fit would be with a man who will treat you respectfully and be faithful to you.

    Seek a good fit in a job and in a man, what says you?

    anita

    #140019
    Kat
    Participant

    Thank you Anita! I’ve been reflecting a lot on what exactly I am feeling in my current role and career and I’m beginning to think that I may just not be in the right type of job.

    I went to school for this, so it’s been tough to just ‘give up’ on what it is I am currently doing. But while thinking about my struggles, I feel like I’m trying super hard to do something that maybe I was just not cut out to do. You are totally correct, it’s silly of me to think that because I’m not good at this one role that I am worthless as a whole. There are plenty of people who would struggle in the same role.

     

    I really appreciate your advice! 🙂

    #140039
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Kat:

    You are welcome, and I would be one of the “plenty of people who would struggle in the same role”- multitasking, judging from my past experience.

    anita

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