Home→Forums→Tough Times→Feelings for co worker?
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anita.
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September 20, 2025 at 9:32 pm #450027
meParticipantOk ex co worker now. We had I would say a great connection at work, she’s from the other end of the world, work visa expired so has to go back home near Japan. Her last day she had cookies for a bunch of the co workers, mostly she wrote she was happy to work with them, etc. Mine said I was a good good friend and she liked playing with me. She was off work for a while and kept saying bye to everyone, she wanted to have her lunch with me and brought her chair close to me and was eating her food. We flirt like crazy so people think we are into each other. Anyway Got up after my coffee and left to go grocery shopping, she was saying bye to everyone. She saw me heading out with my bike, so she followed me and we walked in the parking lot, she was taking pictures of the workplace and me, filming the workplace (and me), telling me a couple times she will miss me, and me her. We started walking together away from work down the street, she was talking fast like she was nervous, telling me she will miss me again and we hugged again, at the end of the street we stood there talking and I eventually went on my way home. Anyway I get her on social media (she wanted me to), we talked on there a little…didn’t talk for a few days and I get a message saying she’s starting to miss me and she’s sad but happy she met me and if she can wants to see me again before she goes (doubt it, she’s traveling the country before she heads back home, first time here and is emotional). At work we did like a lot of touching, like tickling, hand on hand, her arm around my arm, poking, etc. When we didn’t talk for a few days she saw a co worker and said she was missing everyone and dropped my name, so he told her to tell me she misses me which is why she text she’s starting to miss me.
Anyway obviously it wont be a thing as she’s going back to the other side of the world and we will never see each other again or talk, just wanted to post about it.
September 20, 2025 at 10:30 pm #450029
anitaParticipantme- so good to read from you again! Not focused now, Sat night, will get back to you Sun.
🌿 Anita
September 20, 2025 at 11:00 pm #450030meParticipantYou too Anita. I wont be pursuing contact with the woman, just wanted to share a story.
September 20, 2025 at 11:21 pm #450031anitaParticipantIt’s okay. me- for you to continue to shar3 your story. I’m just glad to hear back from you. The first time we talked was years ago.. When was it? 7, 8 years ago? Longer?
September 20, 2025 at 11:35 pm #450032meParticipant9 I think? I don’t even miss that original woman lmao. What a mistake she turned out to be.
September 20, 2025 at 11:43 pm #450033anitaParticipantNine years, my goodness! And we are on the same time zone, Sat 11:43 pm, isn’t it? Back to you in the morning.
September 21, 2025 at 9:18 am #450037anitaParticipantDear me:
You are correct: we first talked on Sept 18, 2016- that’s 9 years (and 3 days) ago!
I read what you shared yesterday, and it’s obvious that your now ex-coworker genuinely liked/ likes you.
“she wrote… I was a good good friend and she liked playing with me… she wanted to have her lunch with me and brought her chair close to me and was eating her food… She saw me heading out with my bike, so she followed me… filming the workplace (and me)… telling me she will miss me again and we hugged again… I get her on social media (she wanted me to)… At work we did like a lot of touching, like tickling, hand on hand…”-
It seems like you are almost surprised that she really liked you..? It definitely delights you, to be genuinely liked by someone you like- that would delight anyone!
On Dec 7, 2016, you wrote: “I never think I’m worth anyone’s time. People invite me to do things with them sometimes but I normally decline. It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s just that I don’t feel worthy of being around people.”-
You can tell, and I can tell, that your ex coworker genuinely felt that you were worth her time. It is clear to me that you are worthy of being around people!
As a response to your words above (2016), I wrote to you (Aug 29, 2024, on the 1st page of your 1st thread as “me”): “Similarly to what you shared, throughout most of my life… I too thought that I was not worth anyone’s time… Like you, I desired closeness with people, but couldn’t trust people for long, so I couldn’t remain close to anyone for long.. there were only moments of closeness, tiny moments in a desert of loneliness. Fast forward: I’ve experienced lots and lots of moments of closeness (online and in real-life), more than ever: this is what life is about, this is the joy of living! Life can get better!”-
I still believe that the greatest joy in life comes from positively and genuinely connecting with other people 😄✨🤗🫶
You wrote yesterday: “Anyway obviously it wont be a thing as she’s going back to the other side of the world and we will never see each other again or talk, just wanted to post about it… I wont be pursuing contact with the woman, just wanted to share a story.”-
It’s possible for the friendship to continue, to even deepen, long-distance, and it’s possible for the two of you to get together again irl, isn’t it?
How do you feel about what I wrote right above..?
🌿 Anita
September 21, 2025 at 3:33 pm #450048meParticipantI liked what you wrote above. Anyway I don’t think I will be talking to her anymore on social media, not into women living at the other end of the world. We have pretty much stopped talking for the most part, I got too many things to do. Nice connection and all but just wanted to share. Never actually told her I don’t wanna keep talking, she did message me saying I am super nice, told her she was too and that I hope she meets nice people wherever she goes next and messaged me back that maybe nice people stick together (which clearly means she hopes we keep talking when she’s gone). Last message I said was that I hoped I see her at work but if not it was nice talking to ya, she replied but not responded back. That’s a good end.
Anyway I got another womans number too today at work, a guy at work said “how do you get all these numbers from women?”, shrugged and said I guess I am just charming.
September 21, 2025 at 8:14 pm #450052anitaParticipantI know you are charming, me! I’ve known it all along. I have no doubt that you are charming irl 😊.
I’ll write more Mon morning!
🌿 Anita
September 22, 2025 at 10:30 am #450071anitaParticipantDear me:
“(She) messaged me back that maybe nice people stick together (which clearly means she hopes we keep talking when she’s gone)… she replied but not responded back. That’s a good end.”-
I am curious about what you mean by “good end”..?
“Anyway I got another womans number too today at work”- you are good at moving on, me, a sort of an expert at moving on 😊. Are you?
🌿🤍Anita
September 22, 2025 at 4:28 pm #450084meParticipantGood end meaning that’s the end of us talking. Anyway I decided 1 more ettempt and said if we never see eachother again here is my number you can call me instead before you leave if you want over a day ago, deleted it before she read the message and asked how her trip is going here and messaged her earlier but it looked weird so I got rid of it. I guess she decided to ghost me instead, she’s been online several times already. Our texts were kinda heavy…like she saw an ex coworker and said she was missing everyone, she also said she was missing me and he told her to tell me that, which she did and that she wants to see me before she goes and that she’s happy to have met me and that she’s sad (to leave country and to not see me probably). Said I was super nice, I said so are you, she replied that maybe nice people stick together (obvious hint even if english isn’t her first language), she also said she’s turning into one of those people that cry because she was going and getting emotional and was laughing. She didn’t say she misses all of us and wants to see us again, she said me specifically. Told her to text me if she is coming in so she knows I am there and she said she will.
As for being good at moving on? hardly. Still pretty bad at it. But I refuse to be in that situation I was with that other woman.
September 22, 2025 at 5:48 pm #450090anitaParticipantI’ll read and reply in the morning, me. I hope that you’ll be having a good night!
🌿 Anita
September 22, 2025 at 7:30 pm #450094meParticipantTake your time, i’ll be around in a few days. She responded saying she likes it and was wondering what I said. I just said it was lame, that it’s cool and that i got another customers number. After I asked when she’s coming back here.
September 23, 2025 at 6:57 am #450114anitaParticipantDear me:
I didn’t know what I was saying yesterday when I said that you are good at moving on. I forgot that long, long thread where you didn’t move on from your other coworker, long ago. Correcting myself this morning, I would say that you are an expert in.. trying to move on too early.
Meaning the current woman we’re talking about, you tried to move on- and away from her- while the relationship is still good, while the connection has been great, there’s been no argument with her, no betrayal of trust.. the only thing that happened is that she had to go back to her country.
I mean there are zoom calls you can do to talk with each other.. other ways to keep visual contact long distance. And the ways she expressed herself, she may be coming back to your country as soon as she can..
Why not be open, just a bit, to this possibility..?
🌿 Anita
September 24, 2025 at 8:47 am #450152meParticipantEnded up deleting my messages to her before she read them, so last message was her saying she is wondering what I said. Anyway maybe I could try? but not that into it, she will be 14 hours ahead of me. I’ll message her in a few days asking when she’s coming back here and that I wanna meet her soon still. But I am pretty sure she only said that because she was emotional at the time and it was an “in the moment” kind of thing. Basically told me she was emotional and crying.
Anyway the other woman called me up, we talked for a little bit. I think she was trying to change her voice to sound “sexy”.
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