Depression is a tricky thing and you never know what emotions are running high in the background despite the apparent sense of dread and gloom.Most people would react well to your suggestion but be careful if the general depressed note is mixed with any bitter feeling or resentment of any kind even if it’s not directed towards you-Right now I am in a similar situation almost- you can’t expect anyone to enjoy things who at the same time is experiencing a foreboding sensation about life in general; it’s like mixing a stimulant and a depressant in medical terms and the root problem will not disappear- Also making him compare his situation with other” happy ones” may not produce the desired result i would advise you not to force the issue- it might compound matters.Don’t mix compassion with pity!

Perhaps simply letting this person know that he is in your thoughts in a positive way or sharing a joke will help.Relationship issues tend to really bring people down if they are caring enough since there is a lot of blaming feeling bad and mixed feelings in general- matters are often misconstrued leaving one with a sense of helplessness or of not really comprehending all that might have transpired up to even totally misreading the other’s words and intentions- in short it can be very volatile.Some people just dissociate at this stage and become numb to the sensory overload and of everyone telling him what he should and should not be doing-this is often aspirin as a cure for cancer-it doesn’t’ stop the spread; that could be the reason why he just can’t bring himself to talk to anyone- he might not be broken at all except everyone thinks that he needs to be ” fixed”

I have an ex gf who moved on and got married despite some intention to have a long distance relationship that could have bloomed into something else-I was depressed at the time as well and i just could not cope with the intensity of all the mixed emotions and I had to break it off. We still keep in touch owing to the fact that she is just so caring.That’s something i can really appreciate and maybe your friend will as well.

Dear Romy

This is difficult to answer as
there may be more than just the two options you believe there are.

It sounds to me as if your friend might be a bit reactionary by that i mean as he sees your efforts he may decide to counter them if he finds his own misery more comfortable to live with or bear.drag him along and he will resent it , leave him alone and he might think you dont care.Often depressed people would like company but at the same time the stark contrast between their “real” life and the one they are shown leaves them moody

if he is trying to find his own way to resolve things leave him be days spent in bed doing nothing included.he might be in the process of making big life changing decisions and you may interrupt that.I would not drag him along kr make any attempt at trying to manipulate the circumstance he is in.It would seem he is in a pretty fatalistic mood.

a third option is to do domething ” in his honor” even without him.Tell your friends if the positive things he has done in his life so that he may be freshly renewed in his vision of himself.Auto suggestion pkays a huge part in the treatment of depression..often the most affected have a fragmented view of themselves which like a broken mirror needs to be healed – a new self is what needs to be generated.

at the same time his view of the exterior needs to be “updated” so that it seems less hostile or contrary to his current belief.then he will step out of his shell

Hope it helps