Hello guys,

I’ve been confused and uncomfortable with a relationship between me and my close friend for awhile. It’s difficult for me to talk about this with anyone around me coz me and her seem to be a very best friend couple.

I and ‘C’ know each other for 4-5 years. She seemed to be a very nice person with good heart. We’re interested in similar thing and that’s why we were getting along pretty well. I told her everything about my lifelong dream, my plans or any ideas that came up in my mind.
I dreamt to buy a land and start permaculture farming and try living sustainably. When I told her about this, she was not so interesting and said that she was not into agriculture stuff.
Later on, I managed to buy a small land and plan to built a house. Then, she came up with the idea of building a house in her land too. I thought that could be coincident that she want to do it at the same time as mind.
In the end, with my financial problem, I stop my building project but she could manage to borrow her parents money and finished her house. I was kind of sad when I saw her finished house and when she told everyone that she build her own house despite the fact that she got supported from her parent. I know I should be happy for her but I can’t stop those negative feeling inside me.

Then, I decided to get marriage with my boyfriend whom I was in relationship with for almost 5 years. A week after my wedding, she went to sign marrige certificate with her new boyfriend whom she was in relationship for 3 months. I feel a little bit weird for her to being so rush but that’s her choice.
Her husband like to grow things so she announced that she and her husband would start permaculture farm and living sustainably. Yes… that’s exactly what I dream of.. And the worst thing is, in her Facebook page, she was using my words that I told her about my attitude toward small scale farming to promote her farm project. That’s drive me crazy for a moment. I don’t know how should I feel to her…is she really still my friend? don’t she know what she has done is hurting me? or may be she didn’t do anything wrong but it’s just me who jealous of her?

I try to forgive and forget and maintain our relationship. One day in our conversation, I was talking about my next plan that I want to open workshop space for art and craft. Few months later, when I visited her farm ,she told me that she plan to open workshop space in front of her house too. I feel like I was stabbing. I don’t know if she intentionally want to do everything I dream of and make me feel bad about myself or these are something she already want to do.

Now I realise to keep my mouth shut and never ever share my interest to her anymore. I don’t want to heard any news about her farming life or even talk to her. I feel like I’m loosing my best friend whom I was always trust and share every thing. I don’t want to feel bad about her and take her as frenemy. Until now, I still confused if it is because of her or me who is wrosen our friendship?

What should I do in this situation? In your opinion, what is the main cause if this problem? Does she consider to be a true friend or it is me who cannot be her true friend?

• This topic was modified 8 years ago by jess2277.