Last year I went on holiday with a group of friends. Unfortunately  I was in a very bad place at the time (my grandmother died a week before the planned trip) and I upset my closest friend. I had a difficult year overall feeling very low – eventually ended up on meds and counselling etc. As I got better I tried to get in touch my friend to apologise. However no matter what I tried she refused to accept any apology. She basically refused to speak to me in person and eventually after a long time did reply via an email. In the email she accused me of all sorts of things – of trying to turn people against her etc, being upset that she went on holiday etc. Now I disagree with a lot of this – in my eyes I was just trying to keep away from her a bit at the time of the holiday as she was being a bit sharp tongued and I was quite sensitive at the time and worried that I would say something.

Anyway to cut a long story short the last time i head from her was in november via this email. We have mutual friends so sometimes I see her and sometimes I have to work with her as well. I am really struggling to cope with seeing her – I return home really upset each time. I just feel sad every time I see her and I miss her as a person. She was a really close friend and I thought of her almost like a sister.

How do I get over this? i have tried to distract myself etc but I find myself thinking about it on a daily basis. I have to accept that there is nothing I can do and I have to accept her decision but how do i find a way to move forward myself?

Thanks