Dear Sonia,

Welcome to the fellowship of women who tend to be devoted and loving to loved ones. Try to view our lives this way. Different skin types; I’m combination oily and so you may also have the same, Anita may also have combination therein lies a commonality which send us in search for the same products and perhaps it’s genetics in most cases. That being said there are groups of people who are emotionally, mentally and intellectually share similarities. We are perhaps in that group of similarities.
A deceased friend whom while she lived shared an important fact, she used to say “you cannot put ballet slippers on a pig” meaning the pig would never know what to do with pearls. As much as you are there for your friend which is an excellent trait being his support system, you are also an enabler; almost like the parent who runs to catch the kid every time they fall, you have large capacities, big arms, strength in devotion, liberal love. However, be mindful as you doll out affections his needing you can deplete your energy.

One day you get up feeling less energetic and it’s just a maddening effect that has nothing to really do with you. Don’t feel guilty, you cannot help a person unless he or she wants to help themselves.

We, the Giving Fellows has to just find our tribe and learn from each other. In giving we learn a lot; and the sweetness is tasted sometimes from strangers who regard us with each act of kindness and not necessarily from close friends or family members. Our nearest and dearest subject us to myriad of emotions that I have come to realize is pathetic.

A wise man once said “There’s the family you are born into and there’s the family you choose.” I have accepted the latter with an open mind and heart. Hope this helps? Chat soon.

Thanks all for your wisdom and your time.

Martha.

Dear Martha:

Have I noticed that it’s “difficult for a person to apologize or admit wrongdoing”?

Yes, of course, absolutely. It’s been difficult for me- not because I thought I did no wrong, but because I felt too much shame 😔 about anything and everything. So, processing my wrong behavior in my own mind was touching on too much shame and low self esteem. It hurt too much.

I am so much better at it now (acknowledging wrong behavior and sincerely apologizing) because there’s way, way less shame in the way.

“Going the extra mile” for people is something I’ve done too, only to notice there aren’t too many people going the extra mile for me.

I’ve been trying to reach closed people, emotionally closed, that is, as a compulsion at times. My mother was closed to me. I tried to reach her and failed, but kept trying.

And then, not long ago, someone reminded me (subconsciously) of my mother (closed, no heart for me) and my drive to reach out, to make that person open up to me was awakened.

A childhood drive to make my mother notice me, see 👀 me, love me

🤍 Anita

Thank you, Martha. Warm hug 🤗 back to you!

I agree 👍 Introspection is indeed extremely important and I am glad 😊 to read that you’re done shrinking yourself! I am still (and hopefully always) in the process of expanding, expressing myself.

I wonder if we should communicate in another thread so that Sonia perhaps feels that this is still her thread, her space (I may be projecting)?

If so, you are welcome to post un any of my existing threads or start your own.

🤍 Anita

Not a problem, Martha 🙂. You can go to FORUMS at the top of the page, then scroll down to ALL FORUMS, then choose a category (example: Emotional Mastery”), click it and scroll down to the space where you choose the title of your thread and the content.

I’m looking forward to reading from you and chatting in your own thread 🙂. Anita

🤍Anita

Dear Martha:

Sincerely, you were not off track at all 🙂. I prefer to think of a person’s thread (where they share their personal story, struggles and asking for some kind of help), as their own space, like a home they can return to at any time. I figure some other people feel like I do, but not everyone does.

You have a lot to offer, Martha, and I hope you post as often as you’d like, be it replies to other members or in your own thread or threads.

🤍Anita

How are you, Sonia? 🤔 ✨️🌙 Anita