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Girlfriend broke up with me because of her anxiety,overthinking issues alonetime

HomeForumsRelationshipsGirlfriend broke up with me because of her anxiety,overthinking issues alonetime

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  • #416289
    Arav
    Participant

    Hello everyone, I hope you are having a wonderful day..

    So some context,, my ex-girlfriend were together for almost 2 months, yeah it seems nothing actually, and known each other for 1 year, and started talking for 8 months. Some info on her, she’s never been in a relationship before, I am/was her 1st boyfriend, and she didn’t liked any kind of relationships at all but she was the one who started the topic on one day in January asking about me loving her or not, then it started, why i didn’t confess before, because i didn’t want to force/speed things up so i waited for her and she spoke up about this and we were a happy couple.

    Now comes the part where she started showing some anxiety, in October she was pissed at me because i was talking with her too much and she also couldn’t control herself talking to me, at that time semester exams were going on(more info on this a bit later) so I left her about a week and then eventually she came around and we started talking again.

    Everything was going smoothly after that, many dates etc etc. And though I’m not perfect but I tried to be the best for her so that she will not have any more issues with me. Now in February(After going into a relationship) one day after a little argument(short-tempered) she told me again this is not going to work. I tried to talk with her about this but agreed that she can do whatever she wants and she will talk at night only and we will see later what to do with her situation.,. So left her a few days to be herself and then we were normal again, But she many times said She is too much selfish and i was doing all kinds of things for her and why because she doesn’t do much. i assured her that what shes is doing is enough for me, more than enough.
    We were normal again,

    So after a month, a few days ago from today another burst happened, we were already in a little argument and after 1 day I was down in the drain for some other reasons and I texted her and she didn’t reply at all, so I said nevermind and deleted the msgs, later she saw and called me and burst out saying she cant do this anymore she doesn’t want this relationship anymore and she’s always concerned about this. she is always thinking about me and from morning “she has to talk with me at night”, or ill ask her out .”I was like why.. why this much overthinking?? this is what you asked for.”
    “I complied with everything you asked for and took in naturally because that who you are and I am fine with that”.. we talked then she started to get unreasonable and she asked her sister to talk with her and she let her know . after some time her sister calls me and says that you two leave each other now. You need to understand that she(my ex) is not gonna understand anything right now unless she gets the slap by herself. that these is all too much. Her sister is also on my side but cant help anything . she(ex) has to understand by herself that shes thinking too much she has to sort out this by herself. So now after a bit of talking with her sister I’ve decided to leave her be. as I did before but for a longer period of time. and let her heal. Ill talk with her sister about in 20 days and see what she has to say. And then ill try talking with her.
    I know this is only a fresh relationship, but I dont go into relationships just like that. After 3 years I met this girl and we both love each other. what can i do to make this better on myself, because im sure i didn’t mess up badly right?…

    sorry english isn’t my 1st language , If you read this thank you and i’d love to hear your advice because i have friends but right now i have practically no one to ask this about.

    #416292
    Roberta
    Participant

    Dear Arav

    young, vulnerable & volatile is how on the information you have supplied is how I would describe your ex and the relationship that you two tried to have. Some friendships do blossom romantically and some do not & I think that is what has happened here.

    You do not say if this was your first relationship or your age. It must be hard when what you have invested yourself in does not pan out the way one hopes & dreams about.  I would spend time with your established friends having fun & doing things that interest you.

    I hope that over the coming months things become easier for you & that eventually you will meet someone with whom you can have a deep & loving relationship.

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