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Grieving the loss of my clan

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  • December 13, 2015 at 7:18 pm #89674
    tara
    Participant

    About two years ago, I started practicing yoga at a studio in my neighborhood and quickly joined a community of people that helped skyrocket my personal & spiritual growth. I felt better about myself and the world around me than I had in years. This amazing group of women helped me through everything, from the grief and anger of losing my dad to the bliss and joy of allowing myself to fall in love for the first time.

    Last year, however, a series of events (mostly all very positive – moving back to their hometowns, following passions, blossoming businesses, etc) led to the disintegration of this community I so very much valued. I’m left kind of stunned… only months later realizing that I’m grieving the loss of this group in what feels like an even deeper way than when my father passed.

    I suppose I’m looking for some advice? Thoughts? Perhaps someone else who understand this type of loss?
    Anything will be helpful. Thanks!

    love & light
    -T

    December 13, 2015 at 7:34 pm #89676
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear tara:

    The clan helped skyrocket your personal and spiritual growth, you wrote. What is the status of your personal and spiritual growth now that the clan has disintegrated?

    anita

    December 14, 2015 at 12:02 pm #89700
    tara
    Participant

    Still growing in some way, but stagnant in others. My relationship has deepened, I’m working on the spiritual aspect of my career, but my yoga practiced has suffered… whenever I go to the studio, it’s disappointing and sad.

    December 14, 2015 at 12:38 pm #89701
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear tara:

    There is a saying in AA/12 step groups: “Principles, not Personalities.” For this reason: people often fail us- their own failings, priorities, and the support we once had is gone. Principles, on the yoga mat- when I hold a Hero 1 or hero 2 pose for a while, I focus on remaining still, strong, paying attention to each foot on the mat, solid. And I imagine I want to be this strong, solid in anything I do. No need to rush. No need to be or execute perfectly. Just remain solid. Me, my feet, my arms, and nobody else. You have you for as long as you live. Make yourself reliable, dependable, strong.

    anita

    December 15, 2015 at 3:54 pm #89755
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Hi tara, it’s very perceptive of you to notice that you’re grieving the loss of the community of women you depended on for sharing wisdom, comfort, and personal growth, especially when they helped you sky-rocket it! But a soul’s journey is always alone, no matter how many people you meet on the way. I know this may not be what you like to hear, and you can always find another community to support you until you become stronger in your spirit, but this event may be a lesson that you had to learn. Or maybe a prompt for you to start and lead your own community 🙂

    December 15, 2015 at 4:01 pm #89756
    jock
    Participant

    a soul’s journey is always alone. I suspect you’re right. How sad though!

    December 16, 2015 at 5:00 pm #89807
    Saiisha
    Participant

    Hi Jack,
    It does sound sad, doesn’t it? And probably why we humans cling to our clans and communities! But we come into the world alone and we leave it alone, even twins! And why we try to learn self-inquiry, self-confidence, self-esteem (I saw your other post about it), self-reliance, self-realization on our spiritual journeys… notice the prefix self-? 🙂

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