Home→Forums→Emotional Mastery→Guilty that I feel good when I see people act reckless
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February 28, 2014 at 11:18 am #52014AnneParticipant
Hello everyone,
I’ve been struggling on and off about the fact that I feel good when I see a Facebook fail or some people posting pictures of themselves getting black out drunk to prove that they’re having a good time or a girl posting half naked pictures of themselves just to gain all the “likes.” I feel good when I see people do things like that think that “thank God I’m not that stupid.”
After that I was overwhelmed with the feeling of guilt that I actually take pleasure in other people’s actions that are different from mine. I feel so selfish for thinking that way instead of looking at them with love and compassion.
Does anyone else do this? And what can I do to break this cycle?
Thank you for reading this.
February 28, 2014 at 12:20 pm #52022KellyParticipantAnne,
Schadenfraude is a common, even universal experience and I admit to being guilty of it myself. I think your conflict of feeling guilt afterward speaks to your level of self-esteem. Someone less enlightened than you would have the good feelings without the bad ones following, in my opinion.
I experience a similar thing when I feel pity towards others. For example, I am having a tough time moving on from the breakup of my romantic relationship. I am still connected with my ex on Facebook. Within the last few days, I have seen him “friend” a number of women half his age who are in various stages of undress or provocative poses. It turns my stomach to an extent, but then the feeling turns into pity, that although I have spent some nights full of tears at home on my couch with my dog, at least I’m not out there trying to fill a void with people young enough to be my children. But then that pity for him turns into a disapproval of myself because who I am to feel “superior”? We all need to heal, and live in our own way. There should be no value judgment on how anybody chooses to live his own life.
I’m not sure what to recommend other than to say don’t beat yourself up too much over feelings that to me, are fairly benign. Work on being the best Anne you can be and take pleasure in whatever makes you happy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. There are no thought police. As long as your behavior is loving and accepting, I think you get a free pass to chuckle at whatever entertains you.
March 1, 2014 at 1:24 pm #52060SageParticipantHi Anne,
You’re definitely not alone. We’re all human with our human flaws and continue to be a work in progress until the day we leave the planet.
I’ve read and heard many things about breaking free of the mind and unhealthy thought patterns and these are some of the ones that worked for me…
-Ego is running your thoughts and your life without awareness
-Realize you are not your ego nor are you your thoughts
-Be aware of your thoughts, just observe them
-Don’t judge your thoughts as this is just more ego and judgment
-The more you notice your thoughts the easier it becomes to let the belief in them go
-Realize that you are the presence behind the thoughts like a clear sky and the thoughts are clouds passing by
-Accept that some of these thought patterns have been going on for years and give yourself a break
-Thoughts think you, you don’t think thoughtsI agree with Kelly that the uncomfortable feeling following those thoughts is an indicator of your growing enlightenment so rather than feel guilty, celebrate that you’re experiencing a rise in consciousness. Fortunately for us, there’ a lot of great literature out there about this very subject. You may want to find a teacher or guide that speaks to you and take the journey inward to the most sacred place you’ll ever go.
<3 Sage
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