Okay so here’s my story. I have been with my gf for 1 year and 3 months. It has been the longest relationship of my life. But idk lately I have been thinking about other people, like what would it be like with another person. I dont know why though, maybe it is because I am inexperienced or maybe it is cuz I want something else in my life. But we get along great and there are times that I love to be around her, and I enjoy her company. Actually almost all of the time I do. But as soon as I leave her I start thinking about other potential partners. I know it sounds selfish and immature but I am trying to be honest and true to what I am feeling. She is about to leave in a month to go back to her home country and I sometimes feel sad about it but mostly indifferent. Anyways, around the time I met her I was going out with another girl that I met in the same foreign country, my ex. (I met my current gf in the states, but my ex in the country, they are the same nationality). I made a big decision to break up with my ex because I couldn’t handle the long distance factor but I really liked this girl. The way we met was magical. By fate. But I met my gf now through a lunch set up from a friend. Well I talk to my ex as friends and we dont really message each other but I think about her sporadically occasionally. I still do and it has been a year-1.5 years since I broke it off. Yet I still think about her. THe thing is I really care for my current gf and (I know this sounds very immature and selfish) I feel like we have spent a lot of quality time together. I think I feel like this because I have never had a partner for this long, my last longest relationships was 5-6 months tops. So I find it hard to even think of breaking up, I mean, its hard. But life is hard right? At this point, it is very hard since I am an adventurous type and in the past, I have had trouble focusing on one person as well. I have almost complete mastery over this now however, until this very moment. I feel like I love my current gf but I also view her sometimes as a friend. But I feel like with my ex, I learn to love her and it was spontaneous. With my gf now, I feel like I love her when Im with her but I have doubts when I am not with her. I recently became someone who completely over-analyzes everything and is full with too much emotion because of things that happened 2.5 years ago when I started to doubt myself because of my career choice. So yeah. I am a mess. Also when people say if I will marry my current gf, I hesitate because I dont really know, Im not ready for it. But when I thought about my ex, towards the end I was considering it. Maybe it was because I fought so hard for her and not so much for my gf now. Also I dont mean to put down anyone, these are just my thoughts at this moment. This is pretty much a brain dump, thank you for reading and I appreciate any input! 🙂