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Alexy

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  • #116967

    Alexy
    Participant

    That’s right, no committed relationship. That means it could or could not happen. And maybe I am getting ahead of myself. And yes it would be long distance, although I plan to move to Japan in less than 2 years. I dunno, she might not want to get back into the relationship, that is totally true. I am making assumptions. But I think we have a chance of being together again. I will be visiting her in a couple of months.

    #92427

    Alexy
    Participant

    I think about how she is a good friend. Like we could stay friends but I still love her. Maybe I just want to explore with someone else? I think I would be sad if I cut it off since we spent so much time together @anita

    #85242

    Alexy
    Participant

    @chris it’s funny that you say that because I had those same thoughts exactly. And that’s exactly what I did. I went to go travel. But I went to Japan and met up with the ex-girlfriend on a train ride since we were both going the same way. And that’s where the feelings came back. I think my job was clouding my mind too, it makes me anxious. Now that I’m laid off temporarily, I feel a little bit better about my surroundings and am more calm. I try to travel as much as I can cuz you its very enjoyable when you’re younger! (Also when one is older). I think also how we met had a lot to do with it. When I met my ex, it was spontaneous and I worked for it and in the end I won her over. In comparison to my current gf, we were set up on a date, which doesn’t seem as exciting. I don’t want to make it seemed like women are objects but we were set up and I didn’t work for it as much. I was basically handed her. But now I’m happy with my current gf. We get along great. But I don’t know about the long run since I’m still so young and there is time to experiment. It’s weird that I considered marrying the other girl (the ex) but at the same time she wasn’t very conversational when we were together. And communication is big to me. It seems like the ex is sociable now. But it’s okay, I think I’ll be all right! Thanks

    #84689

    Alexy
    Participant

    Thank you. I was starting to really put it behind me but then I started talking to my friend about this topic because he had a similar situation. I always feel like I’m attracted to my current partner but then when I don’t feel like that I think of the ex. And it’s all the time. It’s weird but I haven’t spent any time with my ex, even when we were dating. I think I don’t feel like that relationship was fulfilled. Like I feel like my current relationship interjected ( and though I’m happy about that) I I feel, at times, that the relationship with the eex never went to the next level. Always hoping for what could have been.

    #84312

    Alexy
    Participant

    @pomplemous Will you break it off even after you see each other? is that your plan?

    And the dopamine fact/theory is interesting. Maybe I do need more of it! Thanks.

    #84243

    Alexy
    Participant

    Thank you everybody. I will try to cut her off, even though it sucks. I already just thought us to be friends but my recent encounter made me get some of my old feelings back. It’ll be tough but life isnt supposed to be easy is it? haha. Thank you and after some thought I will see what the best thing to do is.

    I also dont think I should keep my hopes up. I wanted to forget her by having a similar experience I had with her but because I like my current gf and I respect her too much to do that, I did not do that. I will try to enjoy things with my current gf! Thank you everybody 🙂

    #84209

    Alexy
    Participant

    My current girlfriend and my ex are from the same country but my ex is now with a guy from England. I know this seems like an immature discussion but it has been bothering me. Sorry I wasnt clear, I kind of just did a mind dump. And yeah time helped me get over my first “love”. This seems a little different. I think the right thing to do is distance myself from my ex. Because there is no benefit from it. Any other alternatives out there? Thank you for your response! 🙂

    #61914

    Alexy
    Participant

    Hi Jasmine,

    So the traveling went great! I went to Japan for a month and Brazil for a month and a half.

    Japan was beyond awesome. I met so many people there, band friends and friends that I would consider having as life long friends. It went by too fast… I want to go there as soon as possible. Japan was also the place (and this might be TMI) where I first got intimate with the opposite sex. On my 3rd to last to day and 2nd to last day I got lucky with a girl each night. One girl is going to visit me on mmy birthday here, so thats exciting.

    Brazil was nice too. But not as cool as Japan. Poverty surrounds Brazil and its hostile environment made it a bit discomforting. I was situated in a dangerous part if town, which made me uneasy. My cell was almost pickpocketed and hit and I witnessed a female get drop kicked. Other than that, great atmosphere, beach, soccer, and the ladies, all things I love. This was in Rio.

    I went to visit my friend who happens to be girl 2 and half weeks later. It was a disaster. I used to have feelings for her but saw her now as a sister. And as a “brother” I did not enjoy her making out with other guys. It made me so uncomfortable and I told her that. She continued and did other things to piss me off. At the end she kicked me out of the house and I flew back to the US the next day. We told each other off and that was the end of that friendship. But what is important about this is that beacause of these events, my anxiety and doubts returned. Her making me uncomfortable put me in an anxious state.

    Now Im back to reality. And confused once again. I dont know if I should get a lab job, contact this environmental firm, or apply to jobs in REno cuz im sick of Vegas. Im a mess once again, and it seems the trip was only satisfactory for a little while. I blame my ex-friend but now idk what too do. Bills are stacking up and i need a job but I also want to move. Im thinking to get a job, save up and move later… the question is what job?? i know this seems childish but any advice is appreaciated. Thank u and have a great day!

    #51623

    Alexy
    Participant

    Megyn,

    Very sound and powerful advice! :]

    #51560

    Alexy
    Participant

    Hey Rhirhi,

    This is kind of ironic but Im in something similar myself. Not too similar but I have the urge to travel and met up with a girl from another state who I think is awesome but its complicated. Shes great and although we havent seen much of each other, I want to fly her to where I live so we can hang out. I even considered moving there, its something my gut is telling me. Anywho, Ive only known this girl for a year but only have seen her for two full weekends so completely different scenario. I am traveling everywhere this summer as well. Was thinking to see how things went after that to explore my options. ANYWHO….

    I dont know how it feels to be with someone for that long. Heck my longest relationship was 5 months so I commend you for having such a long relationship. Having said that, youre young. Im 22 and all Ive done is dedicate myself to school. I mean i now know my future will be bright but I also didnt have much of a love life, its something I probably missed out on. And Ive worked hard for 9 straight years at school so I told myself its ME time. I got a good career because I wanted to travel and this summer Im going to Brazil for the world cup. Ive saved up for it since I was 16. I think you definitely want to travel. The thing is you dont know if your boyfriend will be there when you come back… If he is the good guy I think he is, he will wait. But as a guy, that sucks. Trust me I know. It seems like hes pinned down cuz of his job… and thats the same reason why i havent llooked for a legit job even though this is my last semester at school. Once u start working, ur gonna work for the rest of ur life.. As for the money, I understand. Ive saved a lot since I was 16… and my dream is about to come true!!But theres good news! Ive heard of programs where u teach english in a foreign country and you get paid to do it. I think rent is included! So the rest is spending money and travel money! its not much but since ur already in Europe (in this case Spain) then u can explore. U can never put too high of a price on traveling! Talk to him and most importantly listen to your heart and envision your world w/o him and with him. Hope I helped a little, I kind of ranted on my own little dilemma 🙂

    #51463

    Alexy
    Participant

    Hello Anyone,

    Well heres the thing… she claimed to have a long distance relationship with a guy but it didnt seem too serious because she was having sex with another guy for her needs (since the other guy never was around). She’s not a slut, everyone has needs so its totally understandable in my eyes cuz its just with one other person. The thing is I will just become a 3 day memory to her and thats it. If I had had sex she would have remembered me longer and things would have been a little different. Oh well. Im overthinking it and theres no use in regretting something thats already happened. Thanks

    #50843

    Alexy
    Participant

    Thank you for the quote Jasmine. I will keep it in mind when making my decision! 🙂

    #50686

    Alexy
    Participant

    Thank you Jasmine-3. I dont know… I also believe everything happens for a reason but in this case I know a couple of the employees at the firm. That would facilitate me getting the job… I think I would have a 90 % chance of getting it… I do want to travel but i want a stable job as well. This undecisiveness is making me heartsick again and doubting myself which I thought I had overcome :(. Thank you for the input!

    #45996

    Alexy
    Participant

    Im just getting a little frustrated thats all. I got to be more direct as well. Like the last girl I dated, I didnt really put much thought into her and things were great. But thats why I didnt care when we stopped talking. But when I really like a girl, thats when I become super nice for some reason and joke around a lot and am not as direct because im afraid I’ll do something that might scare her away. My confidence was super high when I talked to the sorority girl. But after I talked to the sorority girl, I had my problem with my major during the summer my confidence went down, When i started to talk to the last girl, my confidence rose but I wasnt as flirty as i usually am. I felt like in kindergarden trying to talk to a girl haha. Thanks for the comment!

    #45971

    Alexy
    Participant

    Hey joseph,

    Hmm, i never thought about that! i will give the book a read, I just like being myself. I think im nicer to girls I like. But the girls I dont like, are generally attracted to me. I dunno. I’ll give the books a read. Thanks a bunch!

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 22 total)