Dear Loveorrockets

When people walk on the fence and fall, you know what happens, yeah ? Life is pretty much similar. If you let your mind loose like this, you wont be happy in any state or with anyone. Lets give you an example: You are in love with A and B. You chose A for some good reasons. But now, you are not happy and you feel that perhaps life would have been better with B. Reverse a few years. You choose B instead of A and fast forward a few years and you are not happy now and you are wondering if you would have been happier with A. See what I mean ?

Why are we so hard on ourselves ? Why is it so difficult to accept things as they are and find solutions to move forward or bring more happiness into life ? What makes us stuck in the past or future so much when we should be living in the present ? Perhaps, if you could answer these questions, things may become easier for you.

Bring some gratitude into your life and it will help to get rid of the What ifs situation.

Pls be kind to yourself.

Blessings

Jasmine

Thanks Loveorrockets 🙂

Hi Sue Ann

Thanks for your post. You are so blessed to have found a husband who LOVES you and will not hurt you 🙂 Welcome to the club of blessed souls !!

What does being “head over heels in love” mean ? What is your definition of love ? What is missing in this relationship that you think that you have missed out big time and you have to cry yourself to sleep each night ?

Lets give you another scenario. We turn back time and you marry the guy that you are head over heels in love with. Lets call him Mr LOVE. You have a fabulous wedding with a big smile and your photos show it. You go on an awesome honeymoon and create more happy photos. You also have a kid with Mr LOVE and life couldn’t be better until one day, Mr LOVE falls sick and passes away suddenly – only 3 years into the marriage. You are forced to find work and look after yourself and your kid. Life becomes a little hard in terms of finances and making time to bring up a kid. You find no time for yourself and there are not many people who can assist you. Each day is a drag but with happy memories of being in love with Mr LOVE and his happy thoughts.

Fast forward 20 years and your kid is married off. You are left alone with happy memories and suddenly you meet a new man, Mr RIGHT. You don’t love him but you are craving companionship after being alone for so long. He promises to look after you and be there for you. BUT YOU ARE NOT IN LOVE WITH HIM. Yet, you marry him for some good reasons and continue to be married to him without the head over heel in love feeling. And then you ask this question to us on the forum ! What would you say ?

Lets get back to simple facts to drive home the message a little deeper. There are many women out there who are abused by their husbands left right and centre. There are many women out there in this world who do not have a loving husband or a daughter or a home to live in. There are many women out there who have been abused in the childhood but have never gone on to make a life for themselves due to a deep seated fear. But YOU are not them. You have moved forward. You have found a partner who loves you and who cares for you. You have given birth to a beautiful daughter who has gone on to make a life for herself and is happily married.

Instead of counting what you do not have, perhaps, get into the habit of counting what you do have. When our hearts are filled with gratitude for everything that we do have, everything becomes easy in life. Love takes on a different meaning and becomes unconditional. It is very well and nice to try and find the “head over heels in love” feeling with someone but at what expense ? No one has taken your smile away – you are the one who is refusing to embrace the life that has been given to you as you cant stop being a victim. Let go of fantasies and what if’s scenarios and have the courage to live in the present moment. Do something for yourself and your husband without any conditions. Then, I guarantee you that you wont be stuck in the “what if” cycle for another decade. And you are absolutely right that your husband doesn’t deserve a woman who isn’t in love with him – what is stopping you from loving him ? If you cant love him, at least have the courage to let him know that so that he can move forward in his life either way.

Blessings,

Jasmine

Hey Sue Ann

No, the scenario was not mine. I made it up to see your response. Thanks for your kind words though 🙂 I am sure there are many women out there who have been through this particular scenario – hats off to them.

After reading your response, I do not wish to say much as I think you know what you want. Just got for it rather than wasting more of your precious time on earth contemplating about your feelings and what if situations.

Cheers

Jasmine