having patience.

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    Jeanine Reed

    After a devastating break-up almost two years ago, I’ve finally taken time to myself. The first year was spent recovering, regrouping, discovering and growing. The second was spent exploring, and dipping my toe back into the waters of relationship-dom. I admit, I’m scared. I don’t want to make the wrong decision, but I don’t want to put up walls and keep a great potential partner out. Do any of you have experience with this as well? Being patient is the hardest part – especially when you finally believe you’re ready again!

    Lori Deschene

    Hi Jeanine! It sounds like you really approached your break-up in a healthy way, taking time for yourself and then slowly opening up to the idea of a new relationship. After a break-up in college, I refused to do the first part. We’d been together for three years, and I felt this need to replace the relationship to avoid feeling the massive void.

    I “searched” for a long time and never truly embraced being single. As a result, I stayed single for almost a decade. I dated a lot, but it was never right, because I wasn’t in the right headspace. As soon I fully embraced that it was better to be single than to be in a relationship for the sake of it, I started meeting people who seemed more compatible.

    In other words, as soon as I stopped looking, I started finding. It’s crazy how a shift in mindset can do that.

    I think if you feel you’re ready, and you put yourself out there from that healthy place of security with yourself (not the place of lack I operated from), you’ll start meeting compatible people in no time!


    I believe love finds you and not the other way around! When you truly love yourself and are comfortable with who you are, you attract similar people into your life. I have found the key is not to look for something, but to put the desire out there. When you open your heart to the possibility that it exists, it will find its way to you.

    Amanda Owen

    I love this quote from Rumi:

    “The minute I heard my first love story,
    I started looking for you, not knowing
    how blind that was.
    Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere.
    They’re in each other all along.” 


    Amanda – thanks sharing such a moving (and truthful) quote. It is true that our love is with us always. just waiting for that right moment, our own personal moment of ‘readiness’ to appear.

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