Thank you both. Inky, your advise was uplifting. Anita, you are correct as far as my parents. I am 52, I was the scapegoat in my family, sister was the golden child, my mother had to be pleased or you were ignored and gossiped about behind your back, mom was not emotionally available and has trouble with alcoholism.

I married a high school sweetheart at 17 and we had 2 children, I loved him dearly but he was a manipulative lying cheat who didn’t want to work or be responsible for his children. After 7 years I caught him in an affair and when confronted then he turned it all on me, everything was my fault…..I was completely at a loss and so hurt, at the time I could not understand why he had turned against me.

One he left then our 6 year old daughter started blaming me and now, at 34, she has never changed. Daughter was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder when she was 18 and seeing what I have endured with hr I feel my ex also was BP. My ex, my oldest daughter with BPD and my mother have been terribly powerful influences with other family members and friends in my life and repeatedly I have been blamed for just about everything and anything.

I did remarry and became a stepmom and then husband and I had one child of our own. Unfortunately their was incest among the stepkids which we were made aware of 10 years after the abuse had stopped. I fought long and hard to support my daughters and then recently it started to appear to me that perhaps my oldest had not been as honest about the abuse as she had initially expressed to me. This all came out when I was asked to not attend my stepson’s wedding later this month.

I made a post on FB voicing my irritation towards the situation concerning the step family. The post was in support of my daughters. I did not go into details as to what happened to them but I did mention that they had been violated. I then realized I had 2 grand children on FB that probably should not see my post so I removed it and apologized to my oldest daughter. She did not reply, took me off FB along with her husband and 2 grandkids. Now my 30 year old daughter is hurt and has told me that she didn’t want anything posted about her personally on FB. This was not on their pages so their friends would see this and details withheld. I thought this would be seen as support for my daughters as that is what I have tried to do for them but not so.

The family has just exploded. My stepson’s fiances, who I have not met or even had any contact with, has made it known to me that I am narcissistic, mentally unstable, a sociopath, etc. My stepson, who was not a friend on FB, and my BPD daughter are making claims accusing me of things I did not do or say which actually is pretty typical for these two.

This has been extremely difficult to deal with and am very tired of the blame. I keep cutting people out of my life to protect myself but the more I do the more I find the fingers still pointed at me.

An apology was given to both daughters. I don’t know what more I am expected to do.