I need some input and mature advice on this situation. ( I know this is long – but I promise you – its worth the read) and when you give me your advice you will feel better!

I was with my ex for about 1 year. I am 29 years old and he is the same age and him and I went to the same school but didn’t know each then until later ….all that led to a relationship…and I only been with one guy before him. I am not that type to date..I made it clear to him I wanted term commitment with a partner, loyalty, respect, faithfulness and all those solid foundation that make a strong relationship…

I was totally in love with him and things were going well in the beginning but his action were very disrespectful and whenever we get into a argument he would call me names, (whore, sluts, bitch, retard ) so badly that I would just cry and it just and to make long story short – he hit me on many occasions.. yes I lost my self esteem and let my standard down so much cuz every time I would think he will stop and change and it will get better and whenever I tell him how much the name calling hurt and when he hit me ….I always tell him – u would treat a woman like u would want a man to treat your daughter……..but he doesn’t think he’s doing anything wrong, he very conceited and love attention on himself , and it keep getting worst .

Most of the things started I didn’t had trust in him and it made me check his phone and whenever I did I would find things (msg to other girls or his exes) and I would be so scared to ask him cuz I would be afraid he would hit me or call me names but I would pray and ask God and think he would change and see how much I love him cause I didn’t believe in killing fire with fire – I said if he see how much I care and love him he would change, but no the disrespect continue and only got worst and every time he would say I don’t want to be with you (yes I know what your thinking, ….why would I want to be with a person who treated me like that ….. oh god I am now asking myself the same thing….now that I am out of the relationship)

Finally after I saw a few messages I confirmed him and the name calling got worst and he told me I don’t want to be with you… How I am just a insecure person …and yes I wouldn’t say I wasn’t insecure because of all that he was doing and I saw and knew plus the emotional and physical abuse on top of it …it was the hardest thing I had to do…but I said I need to walk away with my dignity (whatever I had leave) and I owe this to myself to not put myself thru this ..cuz he would hit me so badly and then he acted like its all ok and it feel like one day was so good and have to be scared like I am walking on egg shell just so he doesn’t snap.

I left and it was the hardest things I had to do cause I was totally depressed after it all – I went into a state where I didn’t know my self and even thought about ending my life….. but I started reading books and looking for positive things to help me, I went on a vacation with a family and prayers & God would be the only thing I turn to asking for the courage to let go of what’s not for me and accept what’s for me. I never contacted him again and I moved, he had no clue of my wear about, but my # was the name… about 2 months after the break up I saw him calling me and I never answer – he didn’t know whether it was my phone cuz he msg me and I never replied – and I knew he would call me unknown and I never answer – time went on and I moved on – talk to someone at the time but that was another disaster so I knew not to waste my time and let it go (but I admit I was hurt cuz of lies and deception but it wasn’t long so I knew to accept things for what it is)

So its been 8 months since the break up of my ex and I and he’s trying to contact me and now asking me for another chance – now he made his friends and his family call me…his friend (married with kids) told me he can fully see a changed and he said he can’t see his life with any other person and he know he messed up really back with me and he just want us to be ok and for me to give him another change. I blocked his # so all he was doing was emailing me old pics of us and asking to not dwell in the past (yes I know u can dwell in the past) but it doesn’t change what he did …. I finally decide to talk to him one day and he ask me to meet up – I decline and he now text me every day – telling me he would do whatever it take to show me he’s change and he told me I can’t hold on to the past that he know he treated me bad but wants to start over…

yes its been a while but u know something that feeling will always been there for that person and with all he did I had to realize and let it go…and I know people say when you let it go if it comes back to you then its yours… or meant to be…? I am scared what if I do give him a chance – what if the same thing happen? DO PEOPLE CHANGE? What is your advice? Also my family and friend totally hate him and no one ever want me to be with him and I know where they all are coming from cause they all know how much he hurt me… he keep sending me msg to me saying life is too short to not be with someone you can’t live the rest of your life with and he want to get married and have a family and I am the only person he see all that with…. …. DO you think its all ok for now until its later again then those behaviour will come out again? I am not gonna lie – — not that he’s message me and his friend and family call me I am thinking of him again – and I wonder of the possibility of us being together and happy?

I keep thinking what will people say cuz my family and friend would dislike that cause they know how he hit me and disrespected me. ( I hate that about myself – I always worry what people will think and I am scared of living my life sometimes) but what if they are right about a him only acting and once we are back together it will be the same? Honestly fr the way he talk I can tell he have somewhat of a maturity now but it could all be an act and that’s what’s killing me but I am not showing no interest in him ….But I am thinking is he coming back to me for a reason……I am at a point now in my life and sometimes I get depressed and sad cause I think I am getting old – I would love to get married and have children…. but I am so scared …. .do you think a man can change? what your advice?

Thank you for you respond and advice in advance 🙂