Home→Forums→Relationships→He says we connect everywhere but Mentally
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October 28, 2017 at 7:11 am #175327MickeyParticipant
We have been together for about 5 years now and we just broke up because he says we are emotionally and physically in tune with our relationship but when it comes to mentally we are not, and when we are in a relationship the emotion and physical things cloud the mental state. What does this mean? We are both college students and I love this man and don’t want to loose him after all this time. Ive been giving him space while showing him intellectually just how smart i can be. What do I do??
October 28, 2017 at 7:30 am #175331AnonymousGuestDear Mickey:
Did you ask him what he meant by not being in tune mentally and do you believe you know what he meant?
anita
October 28, 2017 at 7:34 am #175335MickeyParticipantHe says he means when it comes to giving hin feedback with things sometimes its not what he wants to hear.
October 28, 2017 at 7:40 am #175337AnonymousGuestDear Mickey:
What about the feedbacks you gave him in the past didn’t he want to hear? Do you have an example or two?
anita
October 28, 2017 at 8:30 am #175349MickeyParticipantFor example when he is having a family problem with his son who lives in another state, and i told him maybe his son needs to see someone because maybe somthing is going on at home and you live in a whole other state so that could be affecting him also so we should figure a way for you to keep in contact with him more. Another example is well he is a marine that got out about 4 years ago amd he is very smart and he will sometimes get into moods where he gets down so i will hear him out and then try to keep his mind off of what he is thinking about and have him get out and do things but sometimes that seems to just make it worse sometimes.
October 28, 2017 at 9:02 am #175361InkyParticipantHi Mickey,
It sounds like he missed his carefree college years by being in the military and having a family first. Maybe he means “mentally” as in “maturity” or “being in the adult world longer/sooner”.
I would agree with him, “You know what, you’re right! You are not in Mensa, buddy (just so you know) but I am just as smart as you. But you’re right: I don’t know what having a child is like and I don’t know what being in the marines was like. Why would I? Why don’t you find someone who you can connect with on that level. I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.”
Best,
Inky
October 28, 2017 at 9:17 am #175365AnonymousGuestDear Mickey:
What you told him regarding his son reads reasonable to me.
Interesting, on your other thread you wrote that he complained that you were a puppet. But reads to me that your input to him has been your own individual thoughts, so you were not his puppet, whose puppet did he suggest that you were?
anita
October 30, 2017 at 8:30 am #175707MickeyParticipantInky that really does make sense of what you were saying and I had the same thought but wasnt sure if thats what it was, and anita he suggested that im his puppet because we have been together for 5 years, but it doesnt make sense when i have been myself ececpt for the parts of myself where he helped me grow but i thought thats part of being in a relationship is to help one another grow.
October 30, 2017 at 9:13 am #175723AnonymousGuestDear Mickey:
I don’t understand then. I don’t understand what he meant when he said to you that you “connect everywhere but mentally” or that you were his puppet. Clearly you don’t understand either as it “it doesnt make sense” to you.
anita
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