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This topic contains 3 replies, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 month, 1 week ago.

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  • #340890

    Maria D
    Participant

    I met him 5 years ago, we are of different nationalities and religions, I was born in his country X as a refugee and brought up there my whole life, so were my parents. (Refugees born in this country X do not get a nationality due to politics and racism). We loved each other, we were friends, we connected like soul mates, he had certain issues about where I come from due to a civil war that happened in the country X, and there is a HUGE history between the two sides, my side and his side, but that never stopped the love, he was always nice to me, caring and loving.

    My family knew about our relationship, I had to go through hell back and forth to convince them our love is real, I had to go through battles after each fb photo I post of us, I even had certain extended family members give masked threats for example an uncle such relations are doomed to end in a horrible way, a girl who marries a man of a different religion in an infidel and deserves death ..

    We decided to leave the country together,and settle somwhere else, I had to face racism from the society due to my refugee status, and to go through a war with my own family, it was more than I can take, he agreed and was very excited especially that the economic status in our country X is horrible. We left, we paid all what we have to resettle, he left me alone in the new country and said he cannot take it, he went back to his home country X, he couldn’t take it, he called me, he promised we will spend eternity together, he even wanted to buy the rings, he came back, now he’s struggling again and wants to leave again, he told me to come with him to continue our life together in the home country X, but I cannot, the battle is too hard for me, but he wants to leave any way. I am shattered into a million pieces. He says he loves me and promised we will me together till the end of time if I go back with him, but i cannot, heelpp!!

    #340946

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Maria D:

    1. Is it possible for you to stay in the new country, where you are now, without this man who left you there?

    2. Is it possible that this man will be willing to send you money from country X so to help you stay in the new country?

    anita

    #341046

    Maria D
    Participant

    He did suggest that he’s more than willing to send me money, but I am against long distance relationships, he knows that, and I clarified that from day 1 with him, I love him, but this is too hard.

    #341088

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Maria D:

    If your life, physical safety, and emotional health are threatened in country X (“I even had certain extended family members give masked threats for example an uncle such relations are doomed to end in a horrible way, a girl who marries a man of a different religion is an infidel and deserves death”), then you shouldn’t move back there, and you should make or keep your location in the new country a secret from all your family members.

    If indeed your life, safety and health are threatened in country X, and this man wants you to return to country X, then he doesn’t really love you, does he.

    So the questions: should you return to country X and should you continue your relationship with this man, depend on whether your life, physical safety and health will be in danger if you return to country X.

    According to the quote I included here, you are in danger if you return to country X, especially if you continue the relationship with this man, or if your uncle/ family believes you are continuing the relationship with him.

    Isn’t this the case?

    anita

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