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Help an over emotional person.

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  • #100589
    André
    Participant

    Hi guy, so… I need big help so I hope you can take the time to read this little history.
    I am an over emotional person, I feel things too deeply and I always act according to what I feel, the main reason is because I firmly believe that life should be lived to the limit, and that emotions make us really alive. The problem is, I have no limits at all and I have no logical reasoning, so I have made a lot of decisions based on my emotions and it did not bring me anything good, I have pushed away so many people, I have created a lot of drama in my life for years.

    I know that is not right because I haven’t got good results, however, there is some rebellion in me that makes me want to not let my emotions aside, I feel that I would give up an important part of me, all of me actually, I really don’t understand the phrase “think before acting”. I think that if I turn to an stable person, and a calm person with good decisions, I’ll have a mediocre or boring life. I do not know limits, seriously I don’t.
    Let me tell you a little story: once, I had a very strong fight with someone I loved, it was really late, but of course I couldn’t stand to be bad with someone I loved, so I left my house at 3 am, I walked a hour to his home to fix things … of course he and many people told me I was crazy, but for me it was something that had to be done. Wait for daylight and make an appointment with him to discuss things … does not sound like something I would do. It doesn’t give me the life I felt that night walking to his home. And so, you, could recognize me fighting in the street, crying on the edge of a bridge and planning the best birthday of the world for my parents. Am I really a mess? So why am I wrong? really I do not understand, but I don’t want to continue losing the people I love. I feel completely inadequate in this world.

    #100600
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Andre:

    You enjoy sometimes acting according to your strong emotions, it makes life interesting and sometimes you should do just that, when it will make your life interesting and at the same time will not hurt yourself or someone else. You can be a bit crazy (your word) but not harmful- crazy.

    Here is an equation for you:

    Wise Mind = Emotional Mind + Logical Mind.

    To operate effectively in life, to get good results, we need to use our logic and to understand the messages behind our emotions. We need both. We can’t make life works for us using logic alone because we are not robots. And if we use only emotions to guide us, that doesn’t work either. We need the guidance of both: logic and emotions.

    anita

    #100951
    alcyone eurydice
    Participant

    No honey, you are neither wrong or a mess. You just need some regulation with your emotions. It may be hard at first but its all about “mind over matter”. ‘
    I was an emotional person myself until my mid-20’s. I did act upon impulse when making decisions. I loved the thrill excitement that always goes with my emotional adventures. But I realized that I wasted my energy spending so much time analyzing my feelings and just following them without any logic at all. Being overly emotional can result to broken major decisions most especially in relationships. I was always HURT in the end.
    The key to controlling your emotions is to have a BALANCE between your heart and mind. Always , always think before you act and speak. This will save you from loads of drama and emotional rollercoasters next time. It takes time to finally reach that point. Just be patient with yourself in making this change.

    #101047
    emotionalyze
    Participant

    Hi Andre,

    Your post has piqued my interest and perhaps the replies you get might help me as well. I’ve been in a similar spot before. I’ve faced the same problem during my worst years, except that I wasn’t very conscious about it. I didn’t believe that was the way I should live my life, but rather I thought I had no choice, my unquietness was too strong so I kept acting impulsively and making awful mistakes. I remember walking in the rain (I was sick and supposed to be in bed) to a telephone booth just to call my ex because of something he had done. While I was there, a friend who I did not particularly like showed up and because I was hurt for something she had done I-don’t-know-how-many-months-prior I cried profusely and told her to leave me alone. I didn’t think I could control a thing. That kind of behavior created so much drama in my life that I now have no friends from my childhood up to my teenage hood. It’d be very awkward to see them in the streets.
    So, here are my 2 cents. Your ideology that life should be lived to the limit and that emotions makes us feel alive is slanted in a way that won’t do you any good. You can still believe in your emotions and be kind to yourself. There’s a whole rainbow of emotions and you’re only paying attention to only one specific color. Maybe because it’s a crazy rush of emotions and it feels so much more intense. Personally, ’emotional overdoses’ never helped me and they also seemed to never have helped you. It is just not a good mental state to make major decisions. If you find yourself thinking whether or not you should do something that just seems ‘too much’, remember that the feelings are not going to stay forever (it may feel like they will, but they won’t) and do something to clear your mind and distance yourself from the issue. It’s proven that walking/exercising helps clear the mind. You can also simply go to sleep, that also works. Appreciating more positive, soothing emotions. Or focus on the simplest pleasures, your favorite icecream flavor, the feeling of a freshly-laundered recently-ironed soft blanket during a cold day, anything goes. Maybe finding a way to express your emotions would help greatly, e.g. music, journaling.

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